pilderwasser

When I finally get out of this job I plan to take a job as a tenured professor at The College of Urban Cycle Messengers. It will involve some presentations and lectures. However the majority of classroom teaching will be done by my graduate assistants. My time will mostly be spent in research, writing and doing what I want to do, because I want to be free to do what I want to do. This college exists only in my mind, but it's very real. Here’s a sample from the 2007 Fall Semester course catalog:

Zip Tie Welding

1001 Uses for a binder clip

Duct Tape Survival Skills

Clothing Repair with a Stapler

Fix a Flat in Four Minutes Flat

Restroom Evaluation Techniques

Finding Free Food Fiestas

Avoiding Happy Hour Scheduling Conflicts

Rubber Stamp Doctoring

Stockholm Syndrome
An in-depth examination of the Lane Powell mail room employees

Snap Judgments
Human Relations in the 21st Century as a product of Elevator Chit Chat

What’s the problem officer?
Law Enforcement. The System. The Man, getting hassled by.

Traffic Whisperer
Interpreting the Body Language of Automobiles. Traffic trends and flow.

Peter Pan Syndrome
Narcissism, self absorption, self expression, late bloomers and boyish men in the messenger world.

Beer, It’s What’s for Dinner
Self Destructive behavior among artists, musicians, poets and messengers

&&&

Congratulations to Cat for getting out of the messenger biz, “cutting the cord” as she said and going back to school. Going back to teaching school that is. Word.

7 Comments

big ups, c

Brush up on your grant writing skills. I'm sure there are milions of dollars of government money available to the the right professor doing the right messenger experimentation and research.

i think i have the topic for my final paper in the "Peter Pan Syndrome" class... its entitled: Fuck you Wendy! and it analyzes female messenger behavior and interactions and how it differs from the rest of you apes. should be a really fun read.

that's a great idea, I'd like to tap into those millions. I hope you're doing well Kev. Cheers.

I look forward to your Wendy paper. There are lots of peter pans out there, but I think "bike messenger" lets us hang around longer than many other profession.

sign me up pilder. this law school thing isn't quite the transition i was looking for after messengering. too much growing up required.

copy that Banks, your law school credits will transfer, you can skip all the intro bullshit and step in at the graduate level. Advanced regression. Regressive advancement. Two steps back to take one forward. You know what's up.

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