Working closely with product engineers on a new Messenger Cycling Computer. While they are working feverishly to get a prototype out in time for Interbike, I’m not too worried about it because I was paid a healthy sum long ago for my consultant role and the money is in the bank, or it was.
This computer will appear to the untrained eye, to be just like any other cycling computer. However in addition to the basic functions it will monitor a number of messenger-specific concerns.
Once it is properly calibrated for wheel size, body weight, metabolism, age, legal messenger experience and dispatch style, functions will include the following:
Speed Mileage Average speed, top speed Time in the saddle Cadence Heart rate Blood alcohol level Power output Stress Level Misdirected anger Time standing by Picks Drops Total tags Time sleeping Money earned Money spent Police presence indicator Caloric output Caloric intake GPS locator Bad routing warning Nextel direct connect
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Can it be hacked to accommodate the following?
Barometer
Bar Meter
Tire Pressure Gauge
Elevator Small Talk Diffuser
Krypto Key Locator
Caffeine Supply Line
Extra Pens
Excellent, I'll take two.