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blood alcohol level

August 28, 2008

Working closely with product engineers on a new Messenger Cycling Computer. While they are working feverishly to get a prototype out in time for Interbike, I’m not too worried about it because I was paid a healthy sum long ago for my consultant role and the money is in the bank, or it was.

This computer will appear to the untrained eye, to be just like any other cycling computer. However in addition to the basic functions it will monitor a number of messenger-specific concerns.

Once it is properly calibrated for wheel size, body weight, metabolism, age, legal messenger experience and dispatch style, functions will include the following:

Speed
Mileage
Average speed, top speed
Time in the saddle
Cadence
Heart rate
Blood alcohol level
Power output
Stress Level
Misdirected anger
Time standing by
Picks
Drops
Total tags
Time sleeping
Money earned
Money spent
Police presence indicator
Caloric output
Caloric intake
GPS locator
Bad routing warning
Nextel direct connect

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P77 said...

Can it be hacked to accommodate the following? Barometer Bar Meter Tire Pressure Gauge Elevator Small Talk Diffuser Krypto Key Locator Caffeine Supply Line Extra Pens Excellent, I'll take two.

Posted August 28, 2008 10:53 AM | Reply to this comment

69 said...

bravo matt.

Posted August 28, 2008 12:21 PM | Reply to this comment

RedKev said...

The level of ass callous/chaffing resistance might need to be added to the mix as well.

Posted August 28, 2008 08:19 PM | Reply to this comment

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