my very educated mother just showed us
every good boy does fine
but what about the nine pizzas?
it’s like diaper rash on your eyelids
it’s like playing cards with Cory’s brother’s kids
did they start out that way
and end up like this?
or
did they start out this way
then end up like that?
as well as other timeless questions
regarding the human condition
neither here nor there but somewhere
between restriction and liberation
thither and thither and thither
we’ve isolated the source of the odor
frozen fish sticks thaw in direct sunlight
tah tah tee-tee tah
tee-tee tee-tee tah tah
while authorities await toxicology test results, an unnamed source within the department stated that alcohol could have been a contributing factor. Malcolm Gladwell just as well as any kid off the street could tell you that there were a number of other factors contributing. Duh
the handrail slathered in lemon Pledge
leaves a little residue to take with you
a souvenir so to speak
the handrail was installed for your safety, please keep one hand on your business and the other one free in the event that we encounter unexpected turbulence or a sudden loss in cabin pressure…if your eyes go fuzzy and your knees buckle then you may find yourself in the dark on the floor of the bathroom in your girlfriend’s apartment
and you may ask yourself
how did I get here?
postnasal drip hits harder on the elevator
join the club take a number
vitamin D deficiency
get in line you’ll be fine
ants in my pants and piss poor posture
precipitated by years and years of use and abuse
in and for by and by a one-shoulder messenger bag
no regrets in retrospect still
wouldn’t want your job
on a day like this
borrowed stolen cited quoted
recycled paraphrased plagiarized hyperlinked
a brown bag shed from an expired roadmaster
tumbleweeds down the alley and into the street
on the stiff morning breeze that slices through layers
like a wood handled pizza cutter
calling into question wardrobe decisions
made nine minutes ago
with nine more hours to go
thither
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