
“nice to meet you Kevin”
“it’s Kelvin—”
“oh sorry Calvin”
“no, Kelvin”
As the attention span
of the average American
approaches absolute zero
we’re lowering
our expectations
how low can you go?
−273.15 °C
−459.67 °F
theoretically possible
practically unachievable
but don’t doubt
the average American
look see
finger pointing
strong correlation
the ubiquity of the
smart phone
and how we
dumb it down
post hoc ergo propter hoc
see fallacy see
beyond comparison
absolute adjectives are
the satisfying clunk-click
of an old school
toggle switch
IT IS
or
IT ISN’T
there is no slightly
no sorta kinda
no very very
no almost
all or none
with it
or
on it
take it
or
leave it
Posted at: 04:54 AM | 1 Comment | Add Comment | Permalink

my other exit strategy is a bicycle
my other five-year plan is a bicycle
my other 5-story condo is a bicycle
my other other bike is a bicycle
my other hangover remedy is a bicycle
my other bumper sticker is a bicycle
my other failure to phrase it in the form of a question is a bicycle
my other Datsun B-210 is a bicycle
my other blood alcohol level is a bicycle
my other ancient Chinese secret is a bicycle
my other simple chronic halitosis is a bicycle
my other you’re soaking in it is a bicycle
my other full on Kevin’s mom is a bicycle
my other phantom nostalgia syndrome is a bicycle
my other bookmark is a bicycle
my other ass-pocket U-lock is a bicycle
my other next trip to Rip City is a bicycle
my other buy 10 get 1 free is a bicycle
my other lack of 401k is a bicycle
my other filling in the negative space is a bicycle
my other spirit animal is a bicycle
my other autism quotient is a bicycle...
[More]
Posted at: 06:02 PM | 1 Comment | Add Comment | Permalink

it seemed
like a good idea
at the time
retrospectively
be careful
what you
wish for
you’re asking for it
there
they’re
their
there they're on their RadPower bikes
sincerely
for real
really
authentic authenticity
agitation gets the dirt out
punctuation gets the word out
legislation gets the herd out
repetition gets… boring
Posted at: 04:49 AM | 4 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink

2 7 5 4 8
25.4 in a 31.8
butt of square taper jokes
pushing round pedal strokes
smooth spandex shimmer
parallel pacelines
whooshing whirring
approaching
from the rear
it’s all in here
shifting gears
internally
dig deeper
downtube reach
to access calories in beer
drink it
I know what
you did last summer
similar scenario
substitute lingo
dissimilar metals
form a bond over time
seize
the day
grease
is the word in the
absence of anything
important
petty details
become significant

Posted at: 03:43 PM | 0 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink

I wasn’t in the market for grips, but I guess these grips were looking for me. If the first stage is denial then the next first stage is reaching out to Steve Maluk because these silicone grips will always and forever and forever and always remind me of Steve. He talked them up and stocked them up in the shop at Bike Works when we both worked under that 501(c)(3) ten years ago or so.
I actually had a pair of these grips on the Allez once upon a time. In a tasteful understated gray grey way. But they were sliced off when I ditched the thumb shifters.
But anyway as I was aimlessly loitering in Recycled Cycles in a former bike messenger now government worker asking Andy Voight if he’s my Bucky kind of way this past take-your-baby-yoda-to-work-day afternoon around 2:22 when I saw these grips and I picked them up only to take that photo for Steve in a thinking-of-you Hallmark Card kind of way. As I was ham-fisting a thumby text message to express those thoughts, in-walked Steve G and the entire Bike Works posse on their Seattle bike shop bike ride tour du jour....
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Posted at: 06:15 AM | 0 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink