He who run fast
catch crowded elevator
stop on many floor
He who pause
take half step back
take two leap forward
catch next one
I’m not a bike messenger, I’m an elevator messenger that rides a bike between elevators. At least that’s how it feels sometimes. As a legal messenger spending all day in the core, downtown, in all those tall buildings with lots of windows, you know, the big tall ones, the ones with elevators, banks of elevators, I spend a lot of time pushing buttons.
I do believe there is some strategy and expertise that comes into play when routing yourself in large office buildings with multiple elevator banks. At some buildings I lock up my bike in different spots depending on what floor I’m headed to. And over time you get a feel for the elevators and the office workers and the cattle calls for lunch or packs of jurors heading back to trial at the courthouse after their lunch break.
You can tell the country bumpkins, the out-of-town relatives in for a visit, the contractors, the doctor’s office suckers and the tourists by their elevator mannerisms. Even some of the office workers have distinctive behaviors. For example large government offices and large health care corporations breed herds of slow, slovenly, overweight, especially chatty workers who like to go on a lot of coffee breaks and bounce between floors. Visualize 700 5th Avenue and 1800 9th Avenue. These two buildings are perfect examples. Slow lazy city workers and slow lazy Regence Blue Shield workers. Elevator rides in these buildings can be painful.
Packs of investment bankers or attorneys on their way to lunch can also be very annoying. Back slapping handshaking chest thumping who’s the man -- you’re the man rituals. Yeah you’re the man, but get out of my face. I have a very large bubble of personal space and cannot stand crowded elevators and people that have no respect for other people’s personal space. As the weather warms, perhaps the smell of freedom radiating off me will help with this.
In the lobby, going up, the cards are in your hand. You can play the odds depending on the building, the time of day and your destination floor you can gauge the crowd and get on whatever elevator you choose. On the way down, you’re not holding such a good hand, and usually you just have to hop on and deal with it. At lunch time on the 55th floor this can be rough. Or when 6 busses full of school kids are on a field trip to see a real live law firm in the big city and every down elevator that opens contains 19 kids. This happened to me last week at Preston and after passing up three elevators I just barged into the fourth one with two file boxes in my hands and big bag on my back, and somehow those 19 kids made room for me.
A couple weeks ago after a few cups of coffee, I went up to the 22nd floor of the nearest office building to use the men’s room. Then as I pressed the down button to get back to my bike, the fire alarm went off, the elevators shut down and hundreds of office workers poured into the hallways to await further instructions. I stood in that crowded hall for about one minute, then I took the stairs back to the lobby.
Blindly running with your head down, stressed out about the time, jumping on the first elevator that opens.
Or
Walking fast with your eyes open, aware of your deadlines, controlling what is within your control and working the elevators like a pro.
Smoothly flowing smoothness flows smooth.
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