The Replacements song, waitress in the sky refers to flight attendants. As a variation on that theme I refer to some workers downtown in the same light as I sing quietly to myself throughout the day. For example:
Armored Car Drivers, you aint nothin but rent-a-cop with a gun and big heavy loud truck you can't drive very well and you park anywhere and everywhere without warning and with out fear of any punishment. You suck.
Building Security Staff, you aint nothin but a janitor in an ill-fitting blue blazer and cheap grey slacks and you must be bored out of your mind all day so you find reasons to hassle me. And you in the para-military uniform, you're even worse, You're bored out of your mind too but you're clinging to some image of self-importance in the context of a long painful experience of getting picked on throughout your adolescence, which makes for some interesting confrontations. Yeah well, you aint even a rent-a-cop, you're a janitor too. Keep working on that crossword puzzle.
You have a job to do, although it appears to consist of sweeping up cigarette butts and holding the door for attractive women. I have a job to do too. When you treat me like a professional, I will return that respect. When you go out of your way to hassle me, I'll make an effort to not say anything, the first time and the second, but then I'll share some thoughts with you the third time. Please continue to cling to your image of self-importance because I can't imagine how else you could get through a day of work without it. Just stay out of my face.
Don't get me wrong, there are some very cool security staff members here in Seattle. And like I said, I respect them, because they respect me. And Seattle is one of the easiest cities in the country in which to deliver packages in large office towers. I have heard security horror stories about Chicago, Cleveland and New York. We have it much better than we know we have it. But I still sing to myself.
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