I don't know about your learned helplessness but those guys suffer from compensated uselessness. they had my bike in the stand and misssed the cracked chainstay. "We'll fix that right up, look your non drive side chainstay is loose, hand me an allen wrench, Bob."
Until you met Tobey @ Hot Tubes. The miracle worker of carbon fiber frames. Who said it can't be fixed. Fish On. Billy maybe he needs a custom Fish needs a bicycle t-shirt. Could be better than a trip on a 1.3 million dollar boat. Cheers