I found a zip tie with a tree root growing through it. what are you looking at? what are you worried about? who are you following? who are you retweeting? what's important? what matters? what's the difference? how many likes? how many comments? how much horseshit?
I saw a kitten squashed in the street
I read about a plastic surgeon and his art collection
junior junior and junior didn't care much for the bike races yesterday they were more interested in baby ducks and shaved ice and monkey bars but when things turn 50 it's time to take a little look back
circa 2008 we made a stop at the HopVine during the races punctuating a full day of sitting in the grass drinking can after can of beer. now there's a beer garden right at the finish line selling $7 cups of beer.
those wheels are so 6 years ago just like the photo bro
but you can still get your hands on a pair for only $3025.15
i'm not sure if they age well perhaps if you keep them out of direct sunlight and maybe nobody really knows how well they age because they're only 6 years old??? the aerospace industry knows a little bit about a little adhesive used to bond chunks of carbon fiber to other chunks of carbon fiber over and over and over
using the same scale I'd like to present a ride to Columbia City, Beacon Hill, Georgetown, Downtown, Capitol Hill and back to Rainier Beach and I could probably ask somebody under 40 to set that up and graph it neatly for me even though google is already tracking all that and more on each of us and saving it all on a server farm somewhere near Moses Lake but we don't have access to it at this time.
one day about 18 years ago I bought one of these shirts at a little shop near 6th & Denny that sold vintage posters and t-shirts before eBay made actual stores obsolete I didn't wear that shirt much becasue I thought it was ugly but I kinda wish I still had it as I will not be purchasing another one for $125
a couple days before 9-11 we'll call it nine-nine of whatever year that was I thought you said you'd never forget I went to Marymoor and took the little class they said you had to take to ride bikes in the velodrome and I went through the motions and followed directions which always seemed to be yelled at me to get in the drops because I was on the tops or where the hoods would be if there were hoods because I've never felt the need to get aero bro so drop bars have sort of dropped out of my lineup but the last 4 times I rode RAGBRAI there were drops on the RB-1 there are lots of pros and some cons to them there handlebars and I often catch myself wanting to yell at everyday commuters to Get in the Drops!
zoom in and see that sticker a la Chris Murray pasted on the bike rack RAGBRAI style here in the 98118 and then see the reflectors a la Travis K a la the first thing you take off your new bike when you're a kid but when you get to be my age in the 98118 you find creative ways to put them back on
it's not the rumble strips in the road that'll fuck you up it's the over reaction stress freak outs in the crowd that stack it up white knuckle like lock up
it's not the issue
it's your reaction to the issue
that is the issue
it's a quality of life issue
it's a question a child might ask but not a childish question
"Alexa, how the fuck did I get here?"
in the northern hemisphere my chapstick rolls itself up in my right pocket but not in my left
I want people that drive like assholes to wait longer at the next red light to slam on their brakes to avoid the car in front of them to spill their coffee in their lap to get a big dry mouthful of karma dust or something like that
as President Emeritus and founder of the Profile Design Cup Holders Club this would be featured on my twitter instagram horseshit to fulfill my contract agreements to place the product prominently 17 or more times per month if I had a contract or any kind of sponsorship...but in fact I have one or two of these cages on all of my bikes because they hold a cup of coffee as well as a tallboy as well as a roadmaster as well as an actual water bottle and it's not because I'm talking the talk it's because I'm walking the walk slowly up hill both ways
The passage of time personified. A little living breathing calendar that only gets bigger. A kid that is. All up in your face they just keep growing. For me ages 22-42 were kind of a blur on the north end of the I-5 corridor a gelatinous mass of memories low level jobs housemates studio apartments and singlespeed conversions. Then a kid came along and showed me the way time passes differently. Relativity in rain boots. Look away for a day and they’ve grown some more.
I know that kid. Six years ago he was in kindergarten. Six years from now he’ll be in college
Pushing my bike up the hill in the 98118 single speededly because I’m in no hurry because I’m not too proud to walk because paper-boying a hill just to avoid walking is so so so much more than six years ago came upon this sign in the grass took a photo sent this text to SteveG “can’t decide if I should text a photo or just steal the fucking sign” then 25 feet later came upon another sign and that one ended up in my bag for the ride home taken out of context and put back in the right tool for the job you can order any foo foo espresso drink you want as long as it’s a hammer
I haven’t put on an alley cat race for 18 years but if I did one today it would include this stop - South Spokane Street at Hahn Place South - the checkpoint to fuck up all checkpoints. Route yourself accordingly. There will be no smartphones, no GPS, no Strava. Good old fashioned paper maps are OK and hard-earned experience and knowledge of local geography are even better. Google maps can’t solve all your problems and the satellite images don’t clue you in on secret stairways and handy elevators.
I haven’t registered a domain name for a website in 13 years but if I did one today I hope it wouldn’t take 10 days for the customer service reps to figure it out. This site was suspended for a while because the domain name needed ICANN certification and I guess they warned me of the approaching deadline by emailing email@example.com which made me laugh almost as much as hearing a customer service rep say “dickstank at AOL dot com” in a polite British accent. dickstank? AOL? What year is this? How did I get here? As far as I can tell ICANN is just some dude in sweatpants watching Sportscenter and eating pizza pockets while the money rolls in. certification my ass but I do appreciate the emails and texts from the 5 people that noticed the site disappeared
I haven’t been a first-day-on-the-job-rookie bike messenger for exactly 20 years but if I was one today I’d probably be overthinking my wardrobe choices and I'd definitely not be drinking enough water