what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

pilderwasser unlimited T-shirts  pilder what? kickstand P know knew spew snap shots autoBIKEography RAGBRAI  slide shows phot-o-rama stationary-a-gogo 1/2 x 3/32 links

happy new new year

December 31, 2011

freehub body at rest

December 29, 2011

strength : weight

December 29, 2011

are you fucking kidding me?

moving to Portland

getting the band back together

all of the above

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December 27, 2011

exaggerated caricature  
worn out bumper sticker
next door neighbor
sharp cheddar cheese ball
go sharp or don’t go at all
that’s what they want you to think
ubiquity lessens its effectiveness
isolated incident-recurring dream 
warped point of view point of reference askew
constantly returning to the valve hole
a repurposed spoke out of place
fishing for a superfluous nipple
rattling around in a deep-section rim
another wheel set destined for a dentist
to ride a half ironman
weather permitting  
please give me a sign
post to lock up to
as if    it’s not me
therefore   it must be you
it’s not a straight line  it’s a circle
cycling utility circuitously  
trying rationalizing every day
insert a new variable     explain it away
you can have the look and feel
I want the real deal

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December 25, 2011

my favorite red turtleneck sweater

December 23, 2011

walking the walk

December 21, 2011

CETMA cargo photo 

It’s the solstice and that’s how I like to look at it up here 48+ degrees north of the equator. When people say it’s the first day of winter that makes it sound like there’s a long slushy slog ahead and that’s not really the case. If you think it’s too cold to ride your bike, pretend you live in Calgary like this CETMA cargo bike owner and then it will feel unseasonably warm where you live. Unless you're Kirk R. Dungan, he knows what cold really is. 

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tit for tat

December 21, 2011

Hey there Mr. Jonny Sundt, deep in the heart of Texas, that shirt must be worn out by now. I think it’s time for a renewal of the pilderwasser lifestyle sponsorship.

But now, you being firmly established in a new position of power, allows for a little quid pro quo, tit for tat, this for that. You know what I’m saying...    this   for  that

It never gets old.

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my first christmas

December 21, 2011

trust, but verify

December 20, 2011

       just so we're clear on this, are we clear on this?

this is a race flyer from 5.75 years ago so there you go


I don't ride a bike because I'm battling obesity

I don't ride a bike because I'm worried about the environment

I don't ride a bike because I'm trying to save money


kinda like Joe Jackson said, when he said over and over "you can't get what you want, 'til you know what you want

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side effects may or may not include indifference

December 19, 2011

ate a frozen pizza, had weird dreams

December 18, 2011

roses, it's coming up

December 16, 2011

2011 is the year peter pan pilder pays the piper.

And that,  like Martha said, is a good thing.

I’ve been thinking about it for years, not just four years

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A one-block bike lane is not the answer

December 15, 2011

lost in the form of heat

December 14, 2011

Tin foil hats coming out of the woodwork
Parabolic bowls full of feedback loops
Stale fruitcake secret family recipes
Vitamin D    deficiency
Another cup of coffee
Top heavy
Robotic consistency
Laser focus a little fuzzy
Misdirected           energy    
Lost      in the form of heat
Caloric output off the charts
Attach a number and label clearly
Just another easily replaced commodity

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contributing factor

December 13, 2011

 The correlation is clear    causation cannot be determined at this time. 

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outside the boxer, thinking

December 11, 2011

orange whip?

December 8, 2011

loose balls and stiff links

December 7, 2011

hey there mister hardcore fair weather commuter under inflated OEM tire biopacer bottomed out rock shox clucker if I called you on your left would you turn it against me peering over your shoulder veering swervingly yes I guess so you see what you hear me saying is nothing as you couldn’t hear it anyway in the white noise of the freeway and the jibber jabber of that 96 rock hopper if I had a hammer I’d hammer in the morning I’d hammer in the evening allover this remover installer one inch threadless 130 mm with 25.4 clamp diameter no questions asked up to my ears in too deep 15mm star fangled nut cracker suite like this too shall pass loose balls stiff links close calls stiff drinks plus or minus one more for the road seamless transition smooth handi ramp snot rocket sidewalk free refill at tully’s

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this too shall pass

December 6, 2011


December 5, 2011

star fangled nut cracker

December 3, 2011

Sometimes there’s nothing to say. Silence doesn’t bother me and I don’t feel the need to fill space with idle chit chat, talk about the weather or fiddle with an inane smart phone.  I’m more than happy to ponder questions without answers while I study the sipping stratigraphy on a pint glass.

However,    nothing says December in and for pilderwasser better than this picture.

Six years in a row.



and a year or so before that in a zine called kickstand       it was written like this: 


When you don’t know what you’re talking about

A. make something up
B. talk louder
C. crack a joke
D. shut the fuck up




(the correct answer is D)

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pretty tough to think about, the beginning of

December 1, 2011


November 30, 2011

The progression of time continues constantly consistently although it may or may not be moving linearly people say they’re moving forward and for almost all intents and purposes I agree however I like to keep one lazy eye busy looking retrospectively always aware of what’s behind me and not because I wear one of those cheesy helmet-mounted mirrors but because I have a pretty good memory and the future is sometimes seen through a viewmaster of the past

                               happy birthday Steve 

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they go together like peanut butter & campy

November 29, 2011

it's easier to see what it is, when you can see what it isn't

to shed some light on the negative space

not just looking on the bright side








don't get me wrong...                          


Have a Great Weekend! 

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cod liver oil

November 28, 2011

individually wrapped single serving size

November 26, 2011

kicker of elves

November 24, 2011

It’s thanksgiving which means a lot of things to a lot of people but one thing it means every year is a Detroit Lions game and for the past 20 years that’s meant Jason Hanson, the kicker, kicking on TV, on pace to be the all time greatest kicker in NFL history. If the Lions didn’t suck for so long he’d be the statistical leader in every category that he isn’t already leading. His robotic consistency (600 of 608 PATs) and clean cut image are respectable and admirable and being a place kicker from Spokane I hold a special place for place kickers from Spokane. That and that and that being said, I think Sebastian Janikowski is a bit more interesting to watch, both on and off the field.  He is the NFL kicking leader in DWIs, he’s emotional, he can make a tackle and I’d want him on my team when the shit goes down.  

Happy Thanksgiving

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wet wool wardrobe

November 22, 2011


November 20, 2011

The assassin carried a quiver full of arrows, a strip of jerky, and rode the shadow of a stolen bicycle.  --Paul Fattaruso

If the bicycle squeaks, that means something is trying to kill it, however patiently.   --Paul Fattaruso

Once a day, the sun shines to the bottom of the well, and with a carefully angled mirror, you can glimpse down to the decaying bicycle. Try to look directly and your head will cast an obscuring shadow.   --Paul Fattaruso

Like an angel, the bicycle is born with an innate choreography, which it cannot fail to understand.    --Paul Fattaruso




All of those words are plucked from the book BiCyCLe by Paul Fattaruso.  If I had time I’d retype the whole thing here for you, but that would take away from the experience of picking up the book. The smell, the feel, the taste, of words printed on real paper.

Somewhere between prose and poetry, the book is all about bikes in a way that says bikes are all about everything. Perfect for cyclists and or those with short attention spans and vivid imaginations. It even has a few illustrations. It’s right up my alley. Seriously. Literally. Sincerely. For real. Really.

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anticipation elimination

November 19, 2011

somebody is 8 months old today

what's the P for?         2007  

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Re: cycling in the margins of utility

November 19, 2011

Ask me about sleep deprivation

and its inverse proportional relationship to hand-eye coordination and then we’ll talk about decreasing temperatures and the resulting buildup of condensation that do point to dew point getting deep into the late calendar pages the steadily increasing chances of precipitation and finally    finally    I can see clearly now the window to the soul needs a new set of wiper blades.

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drive side

November 16, 2011

Quirky quick release

Skewed skewer askew

Not quite tight      aka loose

Noodling soft pedal Q-factoring

Bottom bracket behind the scenes laboring

Resonating Chris King pawl ring singing

Self-inflicted free wheeling

Reoccurring down hill chilling

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great bike ride across Iowa

November 15, 2011

like Chris Murray said, registration for RAGBRAI XL is now open.

The 40th anniversary ride is sure to be a special route and have a huger than huge turnout. 

Don't worry about shopping days until Christmas, there are only 248 days until RAGBRAI.  

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to look back and say "I did it my way"

November 13, 2011

Richard Sachs is one of the people in my realm of awareness that I can truly say without question “did it his way” and that is one of the reasons I think he’s a badass. He is a role model for craftsmen, artists and small business people everywhere that struggle with a way to make a living making the product they make the way they want to make it, shooting themselves in the foot with their refusal to sell out or compromise or conform to the wishes of outside investors or business advisors. He makes a fine steel bike by hand by himself from start to finish. No outsourcing. No mass production. No bullshit.  

Lane Kagay of CETMA racks and cargo bikes is well on his way as well. He is running a one-man show in Eugene making cargo bikes and racks.  I’ve admired his products and business plan for years. Soon I’ll be sitting on the saddle of a CETMA cargo bike taking my daughter to the park and grocery store and library. But that’s a whole other story that you can share with me someday soon. 

Dave Schneider of Schneider Guitars is another guy to take a closer look at. Being my cousin he’s oh-so-close to the pilderwasser heritage and family tree literally and figuratively being from and working in Cincinnati. I’m not a musician but  I know that Dave is “the man” among men in the guitar restoration world and unusual instrument construction. Solo start to finish. By hand.

Cory Bennion of DANK bags is one more guy that’s on the right track right here in Seattle. He’s often referred to by me as “one of the guys down at DANK bags” but let me remind you he is the only guy. He’s a one-man operation, start to finish, one of kind, one at a time.

There’s a Steel Wool song that says “I’m a simple man, I like to work with my hands” and if I could find it online I’d take you there because I am and I do. 

I like to silkscreen things onto T-shirts and hoodies and thriftstore merino wool sweaters. People sometimes would ask me to make them t-shirts with specific designs and logos on them for alley cats or special events and I used to say OK. But now I say these are the shirts I make and you can take them or leave them. A Hobson’s choice. A pilderwasser choice. Order any foo-foo espresso drink you want and I’ll smile and serve you up a cup of black coffee. It was never about making a living or making a profit it was about making a shirt I would be proud to wear.

word words word


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complete & total oneness

November 11, 2011

People will realize bikes are the way to get around

    If and when the shit goes down

        Some people have known it for years

    Those in the know   know

There’s no reason to wait around for shit to go down

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there's more where that came from

November 10, 2011

white lining    white knuckling
lane splitting    Lane Kagay
red wine-ing     read [winning]

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Any Given Tuesday

November 9, 2011

or Wednesday or whatever day it is 

you may find yourself at 1201 2nd Avenue and you may say to yourself this is not my liquor store 

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no monthly fee daylight savings account

November 8, 2011

riding home in the dark is the new black

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Free Refills on all fountain drinks

November 7, 2011

variations on the theme du jour

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liquor upfront... ...1183 in the rear

November 6, 2011

99.8% of the time I steer clear here of so-called political things, but as election day approaches Initiative 1183 hits close to home in Washington, the State of.  Living here it’s hard to avoid hearing and seeing all the bullshit hyped up advertising featuring fire fighters, nurses and cops with deep pocket funding from the liquor industry that would like to continue to make healthy profits in our current state-run liquor store system and deeper pocket funding from the grocery industry that will start making healthy profits when they can sell hard liquor. 

It’s too bad all the advertising dollars spent by both sides of the issue couldn’t go towards something productive and useful for our strapped state government.

I encourage you to learn the facts and vote accordingly.

Beer before Liquor, in the clear.

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counter clockwise chiaroscuro

November 5, 2011

loss of suction

November 3, 2011

To see and be seen in situ in a Mom & Pop corner store holding a road master on the one and only day on the wagon in years but that was so two and a half years ago.

Welcome to pilderwasser if it’s your first time  you won’t find any decaf coffee and or non-alcoholic beer here and we don’t ride bikes because we’re worried about the environment and when I say we I mean me and it’s OK to make fun of them if you’re one of them   been there done that just a phase they’re going through a stage they’ll grow out of a fluffy trendy thing  cause and effect connect clearly there’s correlation while causation is up for discussion but it’s like a chicken-or-the-egg thing   where’s the start the finish the end the beginning the commencement the continuum it always seems to come back to the coffee-beer continuum.

Set 'em up to knock 'em down it’s a give and take push me pull you the vacuum isn’t pulling up dirt  the dirt is being pushed along by air from a higher pressure zone making its way into the lower pressure space sucky sucky long time   What Dyson Would Do is tell me about the loss of suction and its misinterpretation and then I’d tell him about sleep deprivation and hand-eye coordination and then I’d tell him to suck it up.

So here finally in conclusion is a sincere salute to those who came before, those who paved the way, making our journey smoother by pressing the pedestrian crossing button, so we don’t have to wait at the intersection quite as long.
Thank you.

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with this ring

November 1, 2011

the real deal really for real until the real rings ready

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one one - one - one one

November 1, 2011

Here’s to unstructured playtime and the independent development of problem solving skills and and and the joy of holding a friend’s kid even if it’s only until they start crying
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Halloween et al

October 31, 2011

set as desktop background

October 30, 2011

Hey Case, this is for you. It's no longer on the hard drive here at HQ    so    I'm not going to download it and email it to you because you can download it yourself   in a right-click-save-image-as-  kind of way.

I can't remember the exact date of this shot taken sometime before you put on that marching band uniform                     but to all the untrained eyes out there    take a moment to draw attention to the Dallas Cowboy fan family in the background.

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rise over run

October 28, 2011

The slope is (in the simplest of terms) the measurement of a line, and is defined as the ratio of the "rise" divided by the "run" between two points on a line, or in other words, the ratio of the altitude change to the horizontal distance between any two points on the line.

Cool Guy Park is on a good line, it's also on a pretty steep slope if you're still paying attention, sometimes it used to be like one big DANK bag commercial.

This retro photo goes out to 50.

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what 29 said

October 27, 2011

enlarged to show texture

October 26, 2011

 leading out a teammate to contest an intermediate sprint in an effort to gain a few points and a time bonus on the overall lead

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displaying the universal sign for nothing

October 25, 2011

when I say "you"   I mean you  

when you say "we"   you mean me

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post nasal drip post

October 24, 2011

first things first
Jumbo baked potato
Just say no
Mutually assured destruction
Supply side economics
Trickle down theory
Trust but verify
Actor turned politician
Win win situation
Head set press
Crown race installer
Fingernail polish remover
Essential wine aerator
Crusty old messenger
Highly trained professional
Used car salesman
Child support payment
Dead beat dad
King County Superior
Law school aptitude
Old boy network
adjunct professor emeritus
in title only
Fish head soup
Tastes like chicken
Finger lickin good
Inter office memo
Extra marital affair
High school cheerleader
Naked boot leg
Left handed pitcher
Bare foot kicker
Kick return specialist
Special needs child
Plays mean pinball
New and improved
Bottle cage bolt
Video cassette recorder
Original unsigned order
Down hill coast
Talk show host
Irritable bowel syndrome
Food borne illness
Rocket propelled grenade
Night vision goggles
Post traumatic stress
Stand up base
Firm hand shake
One trick pony
Two by four
Turtle neck sweater
Lower back tattoo
Non fat decaf
Loose ball bearing
Fork or chopstick
Paper in plastic
Stone temple pilot
Full suspension disbelief
Fresh ground pepper
Breast reduction surgery
Long haul trucker
Catholic school girl
White tail deer
Ice cold beer
Other brother Daryl
Most wonderful time
Man made fiber
Open ended question
Rush hour traffic
Dexter avenue chuffer
Monday night football
rent   a   cop
Dawns early light
Refined white sugar
Over stuffed chair
Stove top stuffing
Limited liability corporation
Chief executive officer
As registered agent
Tough as nails
Diamonds are forever
Nothing lasts forever
One hit wonder
Birds eye view
Old growth forest
Off shore drilling
Off street parking
Ground level retail
Just this once
Pro hac vice
Easter egg hunt
Back door pass
Shatter proof glass
shot gun wedding
Short attention span
Ground rule double
Power play goal
Personal space invader
Hand tooled leather
Back in black
On the fly
In loco parentis
Minor in possession
Open container citation
Full frontal nudity
Standing room only
Snow capped mountain
High blood pressure
Itchy trigger finger
Quality of life
seen it somewhere
 like   so-two-years-ago
re-reprinted  recycled  redux
as well as hard copy on actual paper

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journey of 18,000 spokes begins at valve hole

October 23, 2011


divisible by 6

with liberty and justice for all

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rose colored glasses half full

October 21, 2011

and she was

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hold on loosely

October 20, 2011

a moment to ponder a head tube reamer

reaming and facing facing and reaming

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kickstand you got the juice to fill my cup

October 18, 2011

jaywalker calls commuter "lawbreaker"

October 18, 2011

monday morning kicked off with a fresh urinal mint and it was all a blur into how can tuesday morning possibly top that when the jaywalker yelled "lawbreaker" as I rolled slowly through the street that he'd already crossed over into what will wednesday bring?

it's not really a linear progression

but they want you to think it is       because

clocks and calendars and the so-called passage of time

are all good for business

news at eleven 

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Depth Perception

October 17, 2011

stuck someplace on the X - Y axis
in the shallow end treading water
all the carbonation effervesced
totally 2-D
where’s the Z
cardboard cutout  

call me shampoo and tag me $2.99

repackage me make me slimmer market me differently
call me head-to-toe allover foaming body wash
pinpoint my demographic and tag me $12.99

lather rinse repeat

I’m Tullio Campagnolo and I chose SRAM Red

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product placement

October 16, 2011

whiter whites are the new black

October 15, 2011

black & white

October 15, 2011

Ask me about the NBA lockout

October 14, 2011

I’d rather read a Los Angeles County phone book cover-to-cover than read another story about NBA millionaires.

I’d rather discuss more important issues like the blown out elastic bands in old knee warmers or the subtle differences between a bakery that sells coffee and a coffee shop that sells baked goods.

I’d rather stare at the ceiling.

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I don't know... ...no really, I don't

October 13, 2011

hanging out  drinking beer  talking bikes

waiting for the punch line

but there is no punch line

are you fucking kidding me?

keep in mind the manual override

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1 N-m = 0.7375621 ft-lb

October 12, 2011

That's not Orville, that's not Wilbur, that's Charles of  Wright Bros Cycle Works wearing a vintage pilderwasser T-shirt.  


and that's a Buttercup photo.

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what we talk about, when we talk about an oriented-fiber-resin-matrix

October 11, 2011


October 9, 2011

Sort of like when a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one around. When 10-9 day falls on a Sunday and there are only 322 bike messengers left in the entire world, does it make a sound?

HAPPY 10-9 DAY   anyway

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you can lead a horse to water but if you teach him to fish he'll eat forever

October 8, 2011

There’s a small quiet stretch of a street called Boylston that channels a little bit of oneway local traffic but is fed a consistent stream of highspeed vehicles from Exit 168A off Southbound I-5. For one little block it’s an estuary of residential, arterial and freeway traffic. But that one little block is an essential chunk of a  bike route I ride to work uphill both ways everyday.

As I ride northbound on Boylston around 6:34am with my little blinky lights operating under the assumption that I am invisible there’s a  transition from a two-way street to a oneway peeling off from the left turn lane into freeform upstream travel that may involve a little bit of sidewalk riding (just past 50’s house) if the off ramp is dumping cars into my path. If exiting I-5 drivers see the green light at Roanoke they carry their highway speed all the way through the intersection and they surely can‘t see me in the misty rainy groggy foggy Seattle morning dark. By the end of the block, past the mouth of the off ramp it’s generally safe to ride in the street again.   If there’s a lull in traffic I roll right on through in the street all the way aware of occasional cars coming up at the next intersection to turn right onto Boylston with drivers glancing left but not right because it is a oneway street and not everybody learned to look both ways at intersections learning to drive like a messenger because there could always be a bike messenger rolling from any direction and traffic signs, signals and streets are just serving suggestions not rigid recipes to follow.

In the last house on the North end of the block lives an older gentleman who goes to work about 6:35am. He comes down his front steps and through a large gate in the high wall that encloses his yard.  Big bushy hedges and trees in the parking strip make the sidewalk an evergreen tunnel-like deep forest experience that I sometimes roll through on autopilot.  

One morning this gentleman addressed me and asked me if he could ask me a question. “You already did” I thought, but I stopped and said “sure”  He expressed his concerns and anger and fear of potential collisions with all the cyclists who ride down his sidewalk at unsafe speeds. Speaking not just for himself but for the proverbial little old ladies that live in the area. I said “if I’m ever on your sidewalk it’s just to get past the off ramp” right there to our right and “if I’m on the sidewalk then I ride at sidewalk speed”

It was a short and civil exchange and I clearly understand his perspective and concerns. I’m not sure he learned much from me about a cyclist’s point of view of his little stretch of street. But at least I stopped to hear him out and didn’t just spill his coffee riding by and then give him a behind the back bird as I might have when I wore a younger man’s cutoff shorts making us all look bad.  

I see the guy two or three times a week. But I think he only sees me bimonthly.  Once I said “good morning” and startled him as he made his way to his car. Some mornings I pause and slow in the street as he backs out of his driveway glancing to his right not his left because it is after all a one way street.

It’s Get off the Sidewalk vs. Get out of the Street. A little catch-22 day-in-the-life of a bike commuter. It’s like a win-win situation except I’m the only one winning. Either way I’m on my bike. 

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Old MacDonald had a farm

October 7, 2011

a bit of a snag, a musette bag

October 6, 2011

  keep on truckin

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trapper keeper

October 5, 2011

From a one-trick pony to a three-ring circus

From a one-track mind to a three-ring binder

From an 8-track tape to an mp3 player

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Voir Dire

October 4, 2011

Some experts believe that 85% of cases litigated are won or lost in the jury selection phase.

Take a number and try to remember you’re a number full disclosure predisposed disposition preexisting brand recognition down the throat repetition back of the throat regurgitation in and for the County of King

"...motion to dismiss prospective juror #16"

(I did my civic duty and all I got was this ballpoint pen)

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Our Lady of Unscented Candles

October 3, 2011

day to day

October 2, 2011

Had a slow leak for a week.  Pump it up once a day.

Perhaps today will be the day it goes away.

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dimple knuckling the 99th percentile

October 1, 2011

Touchy Feely
Poopie pee-pee
Cautiously carefree
Proudly car-free
Spicy Chili

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once upon a beer at WA Legal

September 30, 2011

rub some dirt on it

September 28, 2011

Take two more of these and
call me angel in the morning
there’s a tension under the surface
a shadow on the shadow board
the missing wrench formation speaks
money talks  and  talk is cheap
walking the walk this way
ask about the running tally
the ratio of atta boys to ah shits
use the handy pocket-size conversion chart
the squeaky wheel lulls the baby to sleep
someday it’ll get some grease

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look me in the fender eyelet

September 27, 2011

grab a whole handful of disc brake mechanical

a bike so rope they call it Mister Roper

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windshield wipers slappin out a tempo

September 25, 2011

some day a real rain will come, and when it does, a new Showers Pass Elite 2.0 jacket will help you focus on how wet your socks are getting

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126mm OLD = kinda old

September 23, 2011

riding with a kid in the cargo bay and one on deck
Copenhagen moms know what’s what

the clothes you’re wearing
can be cycling clothes

we don’t have to do things this way
because this is the way they've always been done

126mm OLD = kinda old
seven speeding in a ten speed world

something old     something new
some Shimano and a lot of FSA

build me the ultimate utility bike
for less than $5500.00 retail

front to back    left to right
day in day out     day and night 

make me a sandwich between
sequential slices from the loaf of consistency

flukes flubs fuckups
outliers    stand       out

the eye stops at irregularity
hiccups in the pattern throbbing

like a neon OPEN sign in the window
at the only diner in small town Idaho

decisions are easy
when you don’t have a choice

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here we are now entertain us

September 23, 2011

what day is this?


what year is this?

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tune in

September 22, 2011

daddy, what's a crank arm extractor?

September 22, 2011

light-emitting diode

September 21, 2011

I saw a vehicular cyclist with no lights wearing dark clothing post-up in the left turn lane to wait at the intersection in the dark early morning

and I said to myself “what a dumbass” with no traffic in sight as I rolled through slowly wearing dark clothing sporting one little blinky light

Mr Vehicular Cyclist looked at me and said to himself “what an idiot”

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pointillism (too close to see the big picture)

September 20, 2011

Chris Murray photo

Dress me up in horizontal stripes

Smooth me over expansion joints

Take me to the vanishing point

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don't worry

September 19, 2011

Ask me about my weekend as if you’re actually interested when all you really want is me to ask you about yours. However I’m not the least bit interested in your weekend and I won’t pretend to be by asking about it.

September 17, 2011

One thing that genuinely interests me is bringing home the bacon on a CETMA cargo bike.

The right tool for the job.

Have a great weekend.

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does my hair look OK?

September 16, 2011

make no guacamole before it's time

September 16, 2011

a YES or NO question

a Campy or Shimano question  

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one more time around

September 15, 2011



returning to the valve hole

on the coffee-beer continuum 

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when in Vegas, do MadFiber clinchers

September 13, 2011

VeloNews photo

cyclingnews photo

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364.5 days later

September 13, 2011

breakfast burritos, beer & bloody marys

September 12, 2011

kickstand, you got loose and I threw up


with this key comes great responsibility

 that's neither here nor there

 but it could be anywhere

gas station parking lots everywhere


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...and it was good

September 10, 2011

a tisket a tasket a wire mesh Wald basket

September 9, 2011

 popdresssitting by Diane Olivier    2010

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mirror check. signal. head check. lane change.

September 8, 2011

* A * T * G * C *

building blocks

chips chipped off the old block
elements of continuity

elements of distinction

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keep keeping it together

September 7, 2011

participant observer paper boy labor day

September 5, 2011

worn out
thread bare but
only on one       shoulder
lower than the other
forever and ever and
single strap bags never the same
holding 4 beers and 14 King Superior filings
two binders to C-203 and an Ex Parte'
radio holsters held real radios
top tube pads protected top tubes
so    like   years ago bro
sweat stains dried  engrained
history   stratigraphy
part of the landscape
the background the setting set  
muscle memory  neural pathways  habit trails
1111 Third Avenue repeating
bad dreams  bad tastes  receding  
phantom nostalgia syndrome sets in again   
keep feeling for the ass-pocket U lock
and the key       hold the button down
wait for the beep

1001 (ten oh one) bikes in situ one afternoon yesteryear, Jeff Kidder's on the left


On September 13, 2010    I turned in my Nextel and made a clean break from the messenger world. After quitting six times or so before, that time, this time it was for real.

51 weeks later I’ve gained some perspective on it. But I think it’s something that will never be completely finished and like 87 says:-  “it’s hard to put a finger on it”

I believe Jeff Kidder gets a pretty good grasp on that bike messenger thing, that justwhatisitaboutbeingabikemessenger thing with his book Urban Flow  The finger Kidder carefully and thoughtfully places on it,  has a whole lot of social science fist behind it. His book is not just a romantic fluffy Travis Hugh Culley put me on Oprah kind of book. Kidder’s book is academic and substantial. I recommend it to bike messengers as well as their parents, friends and significant others. I recommend it to city dwellers and cubicle workers that ride elevators with messengers all day. I’d also recommend it to teachers looking to liven up their worn out classroom discussions of outdated vanilla anthropology, sociology, economics and psychology.    

Look ma, no hands.

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meet me in St. Louis

September 4, 2011

Matt Hardin photo from a recent crit series in St. Louis

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there once was a woman from Ashtabula

September 2, 2011

zen and the lack of bicycle maintenance

September 1, 2011

I know a guy
that knows a guy

he puts his shoes on before his pants
just like everybody else

they say when in Rome do
as I say not as I do

2.54cm per inch
please make a note of it

2.2 pounds   =  1 kilogram
white shoes  >  Labor Day

I see a table
and I want to paint it orange

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is this the life or what?

August 30, 2011

 is this the life or what? 

it is

it is    but

sometimes it needs to be shimmed out with a beer can

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August 29, 2011

 s i c k s

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one fish two fish

August 27, 2011

wet noodle wavelength
frequency amplitude
point of view attitude
red shift   blue shift
one shift  two shift
a couple of clicks
on the downtube
± a couple more
static load or dynamic load of shit
wait for it
indexed   brinelling
quirky quirk quirks
total tolerance     higher cadence  
totally poor performance
in the derailleur department
basically riding singlespeededly  

just pedaling harder

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August 25, 2011

The Doppler Effect and or The Placebo Effect

and how it all affects my affect

stick to foreshortening

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we wanna be free, to do what we wanna do

August 24, 2011

pedal pushers

August 23, 2011

goes around comes around

August 22, 2011

he who brag of no flat tire

get flat tire




magnetic pull

electrostatic charge

static cling



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" sunroof open, so I can feel the wind blow " *

August 21, 2011

"the power lines have floaters so the airplanes won't get snagged" **



the sun rising is the sun setting

it all depends on where you're sitting


(there's) always something there to remind me of song lyrics

 * The Boomin’ System    LL Cool J   1990

** Driver 8    REM   1985

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the man who mistook his bike for a hat

August 20, 2011

one of these kids is doing his own thing

what are you looking at? 

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nipple driver driving nipples

August 19, 2011


please remain seated until the captain has turned off the chonking sign

securely snug in an over the shoulder DANK diaper holder 

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August 16, 2011

Arial® Rounded Italic Bold

August 14, 2011

the attention to detail does not go unnoticed
unfortunately it’s the wrong details

like the careless whispers
of   a   good   friend

like poop on a stik [sic]
taken out of context

SMED   my ass
time is lost in transition

it’s not just about the font
ad hoc on the downtube shifter bosses

reading left to right
riding on rails to trails trails

parallel to the path of least resistance
a mediocre tennis player drops to level of his opponent

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we're a happy family...

August 13, 2011

Doctor Kidder, I presume

August 13, 2011

Jeff Kidder's book is now available   and I want to get my hands on it

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I'm picking up road vibrations

August 12, 2011

Chris Murray photo

pill identifier

pilchuck river

pillow washer

pilfering pilferer

pisser water


one point of view


behind the scenes, the making of the portrait, the real story

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Raleigh Sally Really Furley

August 11, 2011

     this is a 2012 Raleigh Furley    yes!    word


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August 10, 2011

I'm the guy at the bar three stools to the left literally and figuratively since 1996

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'tis the season, almost

August 9, 2011

Soon, very soon, you could be racing your new Raleigh or at least standing next to it, smoking cigarettes in the pits

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we'd like to help you learn to help yourself

August 9, 2011

ask me about my learned helplessness

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Are you my Jimmy John?

August 8, 2011

There goes the neighborhood
Behind blue eyes
Time slows to a crawl
Two blocks north of Yesler
History repeats itself
Monday through Friday
On the Burke-Gilman trail
White shoes before Labor Day       OK
Double strap black sack back pack
Sweat stains dried sodium chloride
Various variations on the theme

Are you my Jimmy John?

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zoom schwartz profigliano

August 6, 2011

orange you glad I didn't say banana?


and many many more RAGBRAI photos from Bill and Chris


wanna go downstairs and watch my RAGBRAI slide show?


is this heaven?

click to view

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neo retro BMX bro

August 4, 2011

Last week I rode across Iowa with 12,000 other people but this guy stood out in the crowd. He was part Napoleon Dynamite and part Buddhist monk. I saw him nearly every day of the seven RAGBRAI days, often more than once. But I never saw him without his helmet on or without each and every piece of his completely authentic neo retro BMX getup. He was amazingly upbeat as the heat index hovered around 120.

Is this Heaven?

No it’s Iowa, and it’s hotter than hell sometimes.

So if you don’t feel so good, your tummy hurts, your feet hurt, your back hurts, your ass hurts, you’re a little uncomfortable or you just have a general malaise, think of this guy riding this bike 500 miles across Iowa in July with this helmet on, these gloves and these checkered Vans.

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pilderwasser sticker stickers stickering

August 2, 2011

pilderwasser sticker stickers
stickering their way across Iowa
properly placed anatomically correct
taken out of context taken for a ride
on the jersey of rider from southern Illinois
on the north side of a lower back tattoo
on the shirt of a kid helping his dog
eat all the fallen scrambled egg scraps in the yard
sausage gravy biscuits and more gravy
pork tenderloins bigger than your face
pickles pie ice cream pasta salad cinnamon rolls
the corn grows taller there
where all you can eat buffets
warning thunderstorms severe
start town next town meet town small town
pass-through town overnight town end town
downtown uptown
call and response
calling and responding
pilder  ing  --   wasser  ing
beer garden beer belly beer coozie beer me
Orange Whip???
in a gas station parking lot in the shade
under a tree across the street from the beer store
tall boys sweating getting warm
hot hotter hottest   heat index at 120°
one more 30 pack should do the trick
down the road
headwinds heat humidity
road kill
banana peel
pickle juice
butt butter
drop shorts and apply liberally to taint
reapply after heavy perspiration
if irritation develops discontinue use
just this side of catastrophic failure
drive side chain stay   cracked

to quantify a wicked piss
pee in a Gatorade bottle get a visual
32oz at a time
pinch it off and attach a number to it
please make a note of it

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tan line pace line kybo line

August 1, 2011

Daniel E Murray photo

If there was time for a smooth relaxing transition back into work, I’d be enjoying it right now.

But I guess that’s what the layover in Denver was for.

Too many stories to tell this Monday morning but I’ll get some photos up someday soon and they’ll keep popping up in random places    and when Chris and Bill send me links to the hundreds of shots they took    I’ll put those up too.

Iowa is hot in July


consumed 499 cans of Miller High Life Light

enjoyed one bottle of Big Two Hearted Ale

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please hold please

July 21, 2011

pattern length - 7 to 10 working days

pattern width - the state of Iowa

please hold your holding pattern

I’m going on a little bike ride across Iowa with 12,000 people, it's about 480 miles long  and 500 cans of Milwaukee’s Best deep

please check back      in August

when I return I’ll have some fish tales, a few photos and one wicked T-shirt tan



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What Duchamp Would Do (WDWD)

July 20, 2011

There have been countless copies or imitations or knockoffs like readymade tributes to Duchamp’s Bicycle Wheel sculpture since he made the original 98 years ago and then made a few more versions years later.

I’m sure you’ve seen a few art school dropout configurations or some backyard bike mechanic amalgamations. However I am confident that this is the one and only one with a hand crafted Mad Fiber wheel and it’s right here in Seattle. 

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when the babysitter needs a babysitter

July 19, 2011

  - - - Actual Size - - -

(baby added to show scale)

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reduce reuse bicycle

July 18, 2011

Monday is a working day

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this little piggy wears pilderwasser

July 16, 2011


July 14, 2011

an old five gallon bucket may be all you need

off-gassing new construction
120 unit residential
street level retail below grade parking


antibodies build up billed out of pocket

gone in a poof of black smoke

burning quick and dirty like
a pair of pop tarts and a large black coffee
in a stomach empty


she appeared to be riding no-handed
however     rolling closer
it was just a sleeveless jersey and arm warmers   

seamless transitions             segue 
and not in a Jeff Bezos way

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July 13, 2011

it's always the last place you look

July 13, 2011

white knuckling at 10 and 2

 the big hand gets closer to the little hand

then it gets further away

completing the circle

returing to the valve hole

drilled for schrader

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tainted beef

July 11, 2011

square taper mandala

July 11, 2011

It’s not about the bottle cage bolts on a Bianchi that was actually made in Italy from Columbus tubes because that’s another story if I could draw your attention briefly to the blue anodized chainring 130 bcd of course bolted to ye olde 600 cranks radiating out at 170mm to two knife edge MKS pedals all the better to slice the shoes with if you actually rode it all daybut I only ride it to Safeway it’s not about the booted and patched second chance another go round renewed life tires only pumped up to 80psi to avoid blowouts on sidewalls worn eversothin by a guy named Scotty Mathauser working dual pivot 600 calipers for years riding sporadically as a legal messenger in and for King County residing in Seattle the rust on the chain is a natural defense mechanism oxidizing in its own way some say it’s a cry for help but I don’t see it that way because Archibald Sharp told me it’s just as efficient OK you can’t see it but visualize the quill stem dunked dipped dropped in the well of another one inch threaded headset repeated repeatedly all over the Pacific time zone during the past 21 years single speed conversion marsala greater than the sum of its parts it’s not a townie if it’s just like all your other bikes.  

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smells like same time different year

July 10, 2011

6.8 kilograms soaking wet

July 8, 2011

VeloNews photo

Chavanel's Merckx

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touchy feely social science theory

July 7, 2011

What if all your coworkers turned out to be confederates in a vast all-encompassing social science experiment that for the past 14 years has been testing theories like teamwork; the greater good; textbook socialism; work ethic; efficiency; versatility;  nutrition; dehydration; alcohol intake; interpersonal communication; supply and demand microeconomics; micromanaging controlling supervision; independent workspace with room for creativity and innovation; fresh air; repetition; attention to detail over great spans, sleep deprivation, environmental variations including temperature, humidity and precipitation;  prolonged exposure to bright light; long stretches in a dark work environment…       …?

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residual habanero fingers rubbing eyes

July 6, 2011

      talking points:

moving forward retrospectively

this little piggy had roast beef

uniform spoke tension

whiter teeth    fresh breath 

NW Legal Messengers

proper paperclip placement

six degrees of Nick Dale

six pack ring collections

free range beer can chicken

auto spell checck 

Portland, Oregon

Bloomington, Indiana

Grinnell, Iowa

Cour d'Alene, Idaho

spf 15 lip balm 

hairball regurgitation 

King County jury summons

175mm octalink cranks

passive solar heating

traffic mitigation devices



talk amongst yourselves

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it's all ball bearings nowadays

July 4, 2011

Fletch:  I'm gonna need some wires and a set of 30 weight ball bearings...

Willy:  What the hell you need ball bearings for?

Fletch: Awww, come on guys, it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.  
[leans arm on hot engine part]  Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.


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kundalini rising

July 1, 2011


the Raleigh Lil Push in blue and or pink. The time is now. Now is the time to skip the whole training wheel thing and let the kid Fred Flinstone their way to balance and a lifetime of shredding. It's like riding a bike. Something about white tires rubs me the wrong way which is just one of the reasons my daughter and or son would stick with the blue model rolling on good old black "rubber".

If I put the white tires, grips and saddle on the blue one, my kid would soon insist on wearing skinny jeans and hi-tops and a flat brimmed baseball cap and refuse to wear their helmet when they walked their bike to the coffee shop.   

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from my window I'm staring while my coffee goes cold

June 30, 2011

Urban Renewal by Tim Wistrom


on and around up and coming neighborhood sidewalks
beautiful girls talking to awkward boyfriends
walking shiny fancy fashion accessory bikes



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leave late ride slow. leave early ride slower

June 29, 2011

Go faster Mr. Produce Truck Driver

Wait at the red light longer


it's not the Mini Coopers

it's the Mini Cooper drivers


Lakeview Avenue same time each day

familiar commuters commuting the other way

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in the morning, when we rise

June 28, 2011

when one’s not enough
two’s too many
to reach for it
and have it be there
in it’s designated
place and time
in the morning, when we rise
screaming summer icon like
a galvanized steel tub full of ice
ice-cold beers of course
first stop in the morning
looks a lot like
last stop at night

you know the rest

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move over bacon

June 26, 2011

HP photo

onesie is the new black is the new onesie

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rolling resistance is futile

June 24, 2011

I zing the bike electric

June 23, 2011

you're doing it wrong

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Apple Cider Vinegar

June 22, 2011

it seemed like a good idea at the time
like asbestos siding
playing with fire
getting burned years later
paying the piper in installments
sometimes you get what you pay for
years and years later
wanting it all to make sense
clean and simple
logical                      if A then B
scientifically speaking clinically proven
and now that the smoke has cleared
it seems anecdotal evidence is OK            even a
flimsy touchy-feely social science essay does the trick

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snot rocket surgery

June 20, 2011

87 photo

this bolt is too tight

this bolt is too loose

but this bolt  is just right

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June 18, 2011

concave or convex an increased surface area over the course of the cycle cycling completely clockwise through twelve points of contact on radish sized patches bodies in motion bodies at rest and all the rest everything returns to earth eventually like a well placed loogie or maybe things hang around a while for a ride on a Raleigh really the end results the same as the crow flies eyes on the prize goal disoriented self inflicted incentive finish line bottom line assembly line laid up laid back set back set up word   word    binder clip big picture connoisseur clearly connect cause and effect direct all up in your face intense action   act two scene one equal and opposite reaction resolution to be continued to be sure there will be no dancing around playing passive reindeer games       an astounding attention to detail I see you’re working on your PhD but how does that affect me here and now here today more better here tomorrow forward thinking stick shift stuck in reverse press down and to the left look over the shoulder yoga mat holder proudly on display looky looky look at me exiting German SUV passenger side three cars back snickerdoodle Saturday morning piping hot fair trade coffee six-thirty so so so much utility such little margins parallel parking bike lane broken glass detritus flowing downstream loading and unloading only consumer product safety spelled out clearly in an old family recipe serving suggestions only go so far like building an unhealthy attachment to a ballpoint pen it's time
to draw the line

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proceed to the point of the turn

June 17, 2011

a point to make

a point to point b

point no point

pointed dullness

pointed in the right direction 

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worm drive

June 16, 2011

Squeaky Wheel Gets Grease

June 13, 2011

sexybabymamma photo

it puts the lotion on its skin

or else it gets sunburn again

another year older

another hangover

repeat as needed

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coaster brake beer cruiser SOLD

June 11, 2011


Witness the clean lines of the coaster brake, no unsightly cables or housing or levers and all without the hipster angst of a fixed gear. Even TK says “it’s clean”.  Solid Cadillac-smooth Japanese steel. The cool compromise of a 50 x 18 gets you to the bar without breaking a sweat but doesn’t look too ninny to the casual observer. Pushing platform pedals in shoes or even sandals that match your outfit but not necessarily your Cascade Bike Club safety vest.  

The frame comes in at 57cm but beware of the lofty stand-over height of this bike rolling on 27 inch rims and big big tires. After a few beers you may need to dismount gingerly. (Ask me about the 630mm bsd and how it compares to 29ers rolling 622bsds) The front wheel is an attractive one-of-kind steel rim radially laced to a Schwinn bmx hub. The Ritchey stem is a beautifully brazed steel classic holding out a beer-can shimmed riser bar with matching green glitter grips.

This bike has a lot of pilderwasser history built into it and it could tell you some stories but it has been occupying space    collecting dust for the past couple years. I’m not really in a hurry to part with it but a new addition to the family here at HQ has brought some other more utilitarian bikes into focus.  

You know where to find me. Come and get it and ride it home. 

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what would louis sullivan do?

June 10, 2011


where the hell is Grinnell  

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cheeky chica

June 8, 2011

Taco Tuesday Wednesday

June 8, 2011

once you pop you can't stop

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platform pedals & flip flops

June 7, 2011

Mason, Brad, Dodge & Dream at Phil's Demo-Party alleycat yesteryear

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metamorphosis [met-uh-mawr-fuh-sis]

June 5, 2011

in the petty details
day to day living
finding meaning
living within means

my way   your way    anyway
they all come around eventually
ask Steve Perry         or maybe
the earth rotates so things just look that way

seeping into the woodwork
absorbing boiled linseed oil
the solution sticks around so long sometimes
it caterpillar-butterflies into a problem

like a tuffy tire liner  tirelessly
prophylacticly preventing punctures
day after day    until one day
it slices through the inner tube

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cog, rebel without a

June 4, 2011

action slacks

June 3, 2011


June 2, 2011

rookie tattoo

June 1, 2011

Erik Jahnz photo

Visualize 200 West Thomas 3rd floor men’s room

Visualize voiding the warranty on an S-Works Venge by towing a trailer full of beer

Visualize just exactly where your priorities are

Visualize being careful what you with for

Visualize supersaturation and that one last little thing that so-called all-it-takes    precipitating the precipitate

Visualize when it rains in pours

Visualize paper thin pickle slices pasted to pathetic pale burger patties and soggy crinkle-cut fries served on plastic trays by large polyester clad ladies in the cafeteria

Visualize the concept “finger tight”

Visualize sledding down the 10th fairway at Downriver golf course

Visualize looking up the word unabridged in an actual dictionary in a dark public library

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purple jam haze

May 29, 2011

til Tuesday

May 28, 2011

Traditionally when payday falls on a Friday before a three-day weekend things are good and it’s a good thing to dust off those white shoes worn only after Memorial Day unless you always wear white shoes that match your white bib shorts white saddle and white bar tape and your things all stay really white because you never ride in the rain or never really ride at all and maybe you like sandals with socks so you’re prepared to pay more at the pump because you drive your car everywhere or maybe because you’re a paid professional with a team mechanic and a truckload full of fresh whiter white replacement things or maybe you bought two pair of white SPD shoes at closeout prices from Recycled Cycles at the bike expo a set for you and a set for your fiancé for matching mountain bike rides through the hills alive with the sound of that line won’t work on me with a BA in Anthropology from the finest liberal arts school in the country why don’t you want to hire me? that’s not my rusty chain but it could have been while it could yet to be but if it was and I took a photo it wouldn’t look so clean. 
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plastic stacking adirondack chairs

May 25, 2011

three times around in the revolving door    then
out into a great green Astroturf rumpus room
a gold rotary phone rings hardwired    string

holds down a shiny red balloon   unmistakably
the one from the movie    kid voices speak French
while German subtitles appear on the wall    below

a picture of a painting of a cow jumping over the moon
bolted down securely against gravity in the lobby of Denny’s
Grand Slam breakfast dish runs away with the spoon

to one corner where three little Jerry bears rest
breaking briefly between songs and dancing around
correspondingly colorful musical plastic stacking chairs

on the turf two little kittens recently removed
from mother suckling the thumbs of two little mittens
grandmother knit strung together forever dangling   

the little toy house hinged-roof opens  to reveal
a young mouse anthropomorphically typecast
as if Stuart Little sounds like Michael J Fox

atop the coffee table a Hair Club for Men member’s
clogged comb and brush triangulate  with a
not too hot not too cold just right bowl of mush

everywhere stars fill the air with good night noises
no need to say goodnight         socks walk away
and it’s OK if nobody’s there at 7:00      except

that intimidating librarian looking old lady
saying in a near whispering hush  
this is NPR’s Morning Edition    I’m Bob Edwards



goodnight moon dream  redux   this time it's for real

and still with all due respect to Margaret Wise Brown

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if it's Wednesday the keg must be empty

May 25, 2011

they don't have ranch dressing

but they do have excellent beer

lather  rinse  repeat 

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time to stop and smell the buses

May 24, 2011

there’s a squiggly line in purple chalk on the sidewalk
dividing the confidence that comes with predictability
from the complacency that comes with predictability


coloring outside the lines  that separate
the comfort of routine  from  mind numbing boredom

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130mm bolt circle diameter

May 23, 2011

peace of piece of pie

May 22, 2011

Moving right along sixty degrees on the compass north by northwest  fifteen sixteenths of the way well almost all the way to the fourth corner as they say. Throw the wheel in the truing stand and rotate one spoke past the valve hole on the non-drive side keeping your eye on the OD   700c  you know   622 bsd.  That would be two hours on an analog clock when the big hand goes around twice and the little hand lands on the 3   you’ll see   are you hungry? how about a healthy slice of sausage & mushroom & olive pizza pie served on a paper plate fold it over and take a bigger big big bite  or an isosceles triangular sharp cheddar cheese wedge of a three and a half story building nestled between Olive Way and Olive Place with its cutest acute angle always pointing up hill.

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noodling a 53 X 13

May 21, 2011

This is what bike to work day looked like from my perspective at 6:33am. On your left. Right? That light was red, you’re making us all look bad. Whatever     and the bartender says, “Why the long shadow?” All the bike commuters seemed to be going the other way in a fair weather weekday  equivalent of weekend warrior show of force and or free Clif bars and stickers. Don’t get me wrong. As year-round every-single-day bike commuters tend to be independent by nature and rather odd. Perhaps not team players. Black sheep. Ugly ducklings. Boot strap puller uppers. Inscrutable with a tough outer shell. Thick skin some may say crust. Crusty. Crusty like me.

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May 19, 2011

Kim Klein photo




it's Bike-to-Work Day get your ass out there

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looking back over a double short americano

May 18, 2011

slept past my stop
forgot to get a transfer
front and center at the foot of the altar
cathedral          stained glass sunbeam
illuminating our lady of what might have been
pinching rosary beads for what will never be
praying patron saint of potential unfulfilled   
racking up credits
on a pinball machine in a dream
feeding the feedback loop
shouldacoulda monster under the bed  
waiting                                 hibernating
another late night visit from the regret fairy
pillow sprinkled with magic indecision dust
                                    hocus    pocus
can’t say no
afraid to say yes
the fence makes the grass look greener
hard deadlines all in my mind
arbitrary expiration date
best if used by September 1997
commitment contract concession
giving up unlimited nights and weekends
offering anytime minutes anytime
replay the relationship conversation
never said
it goes without saying 





still feeding the feedback loop sometimes two years later

with inflation a Busch in hand now really is worth two birds 

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cheek check

May 17, 2011

got a couple of couches, sleep on the loveseat

May 15, 2011

taken out of context like a trapper keeper

May 14, 2011

IRO cross frame & fork...sold

May 12, 2011

IRO Rob Roy single speed steel frame & fork 

57 centimeterish with a short top tube 

giant pilderwasser sticker on downtube

It has many miles on it and miles to go before it sleeps

Cantilever Boss!

the longest chainstays in the world

not even close to toe-overlap

geometry so relaxed it could fall asleep 

fender eyelets

room for giant tires as well as full fenders

the ultimate commuter or slow boat legal messenger 

only $49.99 with proof of a stable household 

includes bottom bracket and headset

other bike parts and memorabilia available as well


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Bike To Work Day (weather permitting)

May 11, 2011

What a difference a day makes. It rained today, only because I took the front fender off my Raleigh Port Townsend like an anxious kid on Christmas Eve tearing into presents a bit too soon, like an anxious batter swinging away way out in front of a change up, like an anxiously optimistic bike commuter on a warm sunny afternoon in Seattle trusting the weather as if today is any indication of what’s in store for tomorrow. But yesterday was great and I got a little test ride in on Peter’s bike, that’s that there bike in the photo.

Pretend your commute to work is a 7 mile time trial. Now imagine that you could shave 6 minutes off your average travel time. Six minutes over the course of seven miles. That’s huge. That’s another cup of coffee. That’s three peanut butter cookies for the price of one. That’s another snooze alarm. That’s the toast hitting the floor jelly-side-up, consistently. That’s the difference between an elite cyclist and a time trial world champion. That’s what I’m talking about.

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the recollection of quality remains, long after the price is forgotten

May 10, 2011

grist for the mill

May 8, 2011

Where some see a cheesy little zebra print fuzzy girls coat, others see the raw materials with which to make a few new coozies-of-the-month

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200% half ass

May 8, 2011

yes   no   maybe

no need to reread the recipe
the ratio remains the same
unit : unit :: unit : unit
just add water like pancake batter
as runny as you wanna be

three and one half years later
still selling salad shooters
back where we started
anticipating 50% cutbacks
applying twice as much

pancake makeup
spackled on with a trowel
structurally cosmetic
cosmetically structural
purposefully  playfully   opaque

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the seventh day of May

May 7, 2011

Skunk is 15 years old today

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a perfect circle of acquaintances and friends

May 5, 2011

look out

May 4, 2011

if you don't know it's coming

you won't care if it doesn't show up 

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mess with the bull

May 3, 2011

a real bear traffic is

May 2, 2011

outside in your face in real time

a moment of pause to ponder

intermittent inclement weather

stinking traffic can be a real bear down there

but not up here where we’re 

drinking big beer from pastel plastic cups

cold from a keg with an Oury grip on the tap 

shoes green with fresh cut grass smelling

thinking of timeless issues and current events 

the profit margin on plastic stacking Adirondack chairs

sleeves of Saltines exposed prematurely to the humidity
wormdrive over cuts in the tailgate of an old Ford pickup

or something like that 

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salad daze

April 29, 2011

everybody’s working for the weekend

well   not really everybody

clowns to the left of me

everything isn’t in its place

but there’s a place for everything

there goes a couple thou  ±  0.005”

the new normal may or may not be temporary

Friday is the new Thursday

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itsy bitsy teenie weenie purple pilderwasser hoodie

April 26, 2011

a real chip off the old block

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it's all about the font

April 26, 2011

does this website make my butt look big?

April 25, 2011

refined white sugar or happy easter

April 24, 2011

moro reflex

April 23, 2011

CETMA Cargo photo

entropy plays for the other team
it’s so easy      swim downstream

take me back to nature
take me to your leader

set me up to knock me down
flick me in a splatter pattern

cut me into ninety-six sticky little rectangles
adhering to each and every corresponding spoke hole

see me  feel me  touch me        leave me alone
mean  median  mode   meet me in the middle 

place me in a pickle bucket
remember me on Monday

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you got it, that's right you got it

April 22, 2011

Any proceeds from the purchase of a pilderwasser T-shirt will be redirected immediately into the local cycling economy…usually.  But  this year there might be a slight delay in the redirection of those funds, to focus on the production of shirts with a big-bike-ride-in-Iowa theme in various new and improved silkscreen designs for 2011. And then in turn the cash from the sale of those big-bike-ride-in-Iowa shirts will go directly into various small communities across the state of Iowa during the last week of July, generously disbursed from the saddle of a Bridgestone RB-1,  radiating like ripples on a quiet pond with a gentle breeze moving from west to east carrying the smell of 10,000 recreational cyclists passing in a 24-hour 7-day parade passing by Jimbo’s house.  

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just riding along the coffee-beer continuum

April 21, 2011

beer came before this roadside coffee break

and of course beer would follow 

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fully rigid suspension of disbelief

April 20, 2011

moving forward 
could be construed as counterclockwise
when viewed from the non-drive side


What are you looking at?

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measure ninety-six times, cut once

April 19, 2011

it's not about the ridiculous hat


it's about the cutest baby in the world

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the right tool for the job

April 18, 2011


 or is it the right job for the tool?


A. spoke wrench

B. salad tongs

C. fingernail polish remover  

D. all of the above

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I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true

April 16, 2011

for best results
squeeze from the bottom
flatten as you go


we do it that way because
that’s the way
it’s always been done

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like butter, it is

April 14, 2011

not no parkay   not no margarine 

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like butter, do you

April 12, 2011

down at dog piss level    it's not about the bike

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...the more they stay the same

April 11, 2011

Spring is in the air, but the buzzing sound isn’t insects,
it’s a pack of free hub bodies flying down hill.  


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the radio reminds me of my home far away

April 10, 2011

friction shifting and or clogged cable housing

April 8, 2011

 a little slow on the uptake


not so smooth

scuffing along the asphalt

two tennis balls on the legs of a walker

Elvis left the building

like   so     ten minutes ago

the same song pops up

Monday through Friday mornings 

we’ve isolated the source of the problem

carry on


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we're only making plans for nigel

April 6, 2011

 there are a few things more honorable
than bringing home a keg of beer
on a bicycle

but what
could be more rewarding
directly proportionally calorically  
thank you Jason for the use of your trailer
I would like to make you an offer...  to buy it
to own it     to silkscreen on it  
to use it again and again 
to pick up another keg

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sincerely for real really Pearl Izumi chamois

April 5, 2011

the check is in the mail, this time it's for real, all roads lead to Grinnell... 

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al dente

April 4, 2011

 see CETMA Cargo. Go CETMA Go.

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your tired, your poor, your Honjo fenders

April 3, 2011

drive side
pant leg
rolled up

chain ring

shoe lace

frayed knot

stress riser
hot spot : blister :: hairline fracture : catastrophic failure

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jump around

April 2, 2011

looking nostalgically through
memories of big beer gutted
toe punching place kickers of yesteryear
living vicariously through
phantom DREMEL syndrome
know now no so speak up to 15,000 rpm

right lane must turn right
except bicycles
accept bicycles

hop skip & jumping  
into a surplus
of attention deficit

not a disorder      a gift
connecting the dots  
seeing things from other angles

aye      there’s the rub
I    say today’s my Saturday
eyes   eventually adjust to the light

down to earth         grounded like
a long tail cat in a room   
full of three prong outlets

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torsional stiffness

March 31, 2011

this is P W Murray of New York, New York 

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dig if you will a picture of a picture of a picture

March 30, 2011

I’m thinking of a color between 1 and 100.
I’m thinking of a color that does not occur in nature.

I am looking at a commuter.
I am looking at a mirror.

Some people wear tyvek STP jackets proudly.
Some people cut them up into little squares and make tire boots.

Some people make neat little sandpaper squares and talk about work.
Some people tear off a piece and get to work.


Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Sometimes you don’t.

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smells like Grinnell

March 29, 2011

cascading cone wrenches

March 27, 2011

The newest in new. This is a prototype T-shirt test screened for 29 with cone wrenches he gave me from Ye Olde Fleetfoot shop. I placed them directly on the photo emulsion screen, burning their shadows with no middle-man transparency. 

Somewhere in the neighborhood of simple and organic, while at the same time mechanical and technical. Coming through loud and clear to over trained underpaid bike mechanics but still speaking politely to design minded Magnolia soccer moms. 

Cups and cones and cartridges. Loose balls everywhere. Subtle. Just right. Well adjusted. Not over tight.

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sunday morning easy like

March 27, 2011

sleeping soundly on mom’s favorite p-dub hoodie
under a cozy blanket made by Kwak Jessie

product placement started early
stay tuned      you’ll see

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angular thrust loads

March 26, 2011

Rolling through an uncontrolled intersection
with confidence, on a basket bike loaded with
bigger fish to fry, wearing an over the shoulder
DANK diaper holder

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March 25, 2011

Jenny Dailey photo

why wait for a facsimile
a first generation copy

to be scanned digitally enhanced
printed on paper of archival quality

100% of actual size
when the original is right here

the time is now is the time
make a new plan stan   

the rules have changed
new & improved different definitions

see appendix E  paragraph 3.19.11

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distillation of priorities & issues of life quality

March 24, 2011

welcome to your life

March 22, 2011

cantilever boss

March 18, 2011

Who has two thumbs and one new pilderwasser shirt?

(men's medium in a tasteful American Apparel lapis)

...one of the guys down at DANK bags 

(check out the six-pack ring collection stage right)

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caloric output

March 17, 2011

K Klein photo RAGBRAI 09

The calorie is a pre-SI metric unit of energy. It was first defined by Nicolas Clément in 1824 as a unit of heat, entering French and English dictionaries between 1841 and 1867.[1] In most fields its use is archaic, having been replaced by the SI unit of energy, the joule. However, in many countries it remains in common use as a unit of food energy.

Definitions of a calorie fall into two classes:

  • The small calorie or gram calorie (symbol: cal)[2] approximates the energy needed to increase the temperature of 1 gram of water by 1 °C. This is about 4.18 joules.
  • The large calorie, kilogram calorie, dietary calorie or food calorie (symbol: Cal)[2] approximates the energy needed to increase the temperature of 1 kilogram of water by 1 °C. This is exactly 1000 small calories or about 4.18 kilojoules.

In an attempt to avoid confusion the large calorie is sometimes written as Calorie (with a capital C). This convention, however, is not always followed, and not explained to the average person clearly (and is sometimes impossible). Whether the large or small calorie is intended often must be inferred from context. When used in scientific contexts, the term calorie refers to the small calorie.

The gram calorie, however, is a very small a unit for use in nutritional contexts. Larger units are therefore used. The kilocalorie (symbol: kcal), being 1000 small calories, is one such unit. The large calorie, usually refered to simply as calorie, is also used. These are equivalent (1 kcal = 1 Cal).[2] Therefore, in nutritional contexts the calorie and kilocalorie are the same size.


that was all cut & pasted from Wikipedia

caloric intake

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watching me watching you

March 16, 2011

on your left

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hot pockets in and for the Ides of March

March 15, 2011

drink globally
think locally

think  Sally
drink Raleigh

2 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink

bacon lettuce tomato turkey avocado

March 14, 2011

 rough it up with 80 grit
silkscreen   directly  onto it
don’t fuck it up
you only get one shot at it

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smells like spring forwarding

March 13, 2011

P I photo

looks like we don’t have a choice
on this one while actually the choice
was made years ago  so  here we go
again one more time around clockwise
drive side spoke wind up synthetic
chain lube residue wipe down grown
man made fibers wick the days away

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ask me about gas prices

March 12, 2011

clean lines...but no cup holder 

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make like a tree

March 11, 2011

wanna see it painted - - - - - - - - painted black

March 10, 2011

straddling the seamless transition from neither here nor there to everywhere

looking back on what seemed like a good idea at the time

brake pads will wear their way through spray paint eventually

on a trial and error chain tension learning curve

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git er dun

March 10, 2011

paul‘s rides photo

Utility Cycling is a quality of life issue

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Echo Valley 2-6809

March 8, 2011

i   see

older   lions

on   the

street   and

wonder   if

they   have

a   wisdom

i   lack.
I didn't write that and I'm not sure who did
I found it on a scrap of paper     years ago
and it still speaks                              to me
looking to the future
through the framework of the past

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nine digit zip code

March 8, 2011

it's coming up DANK bags everywhere you go

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one for the road and three orange whips

March 7, 2011

Margo knows

March 6, 2011

CETMA cargo handbuilt in Eugene, Oregon

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orange whip?

March 5, 2011

orange you glad I didn't say banana?

5 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink

take a greener green green bite

March 4, 2011

greener grass is not exactly a brick & mortar concept



it’s about
here & now
getting your hands
dirty digging ditches
placing postholes
properly because
that’s how it
should be
plumb bobs
for real
walking the talk

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I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail

March 4, 2011

I’d rather be a hammer than a plastic bag on the saddle of a janky bike
2 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink

both sides of the fence

March 3, 2011

the time is now is the time

to build a better mousetrap

the glass is half full

and we have a kegerator

so the grass is just as green over here

visualize REO Speedwagon

somewhere between a smile and a grimace

noodling   soft pedaling    sandbagging

dominating the Cat 4s for a case of Clif Bars

like Lane Kagay said     ONE LESS CARE

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you can tell by the way I use my walk

March 3, 2011


Mark your Calendar for March 26, 2011       details here 

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he said that's what she said

March 3, 2011

wet noodle coefficient of friction bon jovi

March 2, 2011

viable twin toaster

March 2, 2011

Bombing down Denny every morning at 8:12am for years and years I know the expansion joint in this photo quite well. It separates the Capitol Hill addresses from downtown literally and figuratively and geographically and metaphorically. Toss in the Denny divide and confusion often arises among rookies and tourists. 

When I was your age it was all big bunny hops over the gap, full of enthusiasm and a colorful show of lifestyle choice for the commuters waiting at the light on Melrose. Ass pocket U-lock rising up half way out of the pocket when I pushed off the pedals and crested the arc. 99% of the time the lock came back to rest in my shorts. I was sans helmet even sans socks in Sidis sometimes stupid.

As I aged it became much more of a subtle un-weighting of the pedals, silently, smoothly clearing the obstacle and to the untrained eye never leaving the ground. Getting the job done efficiently and effectively sometimes even apparently effortlessly. Tim-Mason-like. But those in the know, know it just looks that way sometimes.

I wouldn’t want your job on a day like this.

Getting from 1216 Pine to 300 E. Pine in a matter of minutes.


I am however still fond of  the 1221 E. Pike to 300 E. Pike roundtrip

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you gotta straddle it to be sure

March 1, 2011


"I got a sharrow here bro..."


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the most tender buttons to button

February 28, 2011

the look and feel of hand tooled leather

February 27, 2011

this is no walk in the park
this is no Sunday drive
it’s not some dead fish handshake
there’s no limp wrist weak ass shit

this is 80 grit
sand it like you mean it
be aggressive     b -e  aggressive
b -e  -a -g -g  -r  -e   -s -s   -i -v -e

with this key comes responsibility
treat this token as you would cash
sometimes you really do
get what you pay for

handmade in Seattle

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mighty mighty pisces

February 27, 2011

they say it’s your birthday ± a day or two

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post nasal drip

February 26, 2011

mind the gap

complete the circuit

taken out of context
post nasal drip

is actually a pretty steady stream
phalanges fucking freezing

1.5 pairs of socks
one sock on each foot

one sock down my pants
wardrobe looks like a post-yard-sale free pile
not feeling too aerodynamic
no cycling specific clothing

except maybe a CARS -R- COFFINS hoodie
as close as I get to feeling Minnesota

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up hill both ways in the snow

February 24, 2011

braxton hicks balance bikes

February 23, 2011

12 x 1.75 tires at 35 psi

pilderwasser sticker stuck

4 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink

bolt circle diameter

February 22, 2011

this is where I might suggest The Baby Song by Hüsker Dü
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chopping down cherry blossoms

February 21, 2011

A.  Doric
B.  Ionic
C.  Corinthian
D.  another pint of IPA

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beyond boss

February 20, 2011

psychosomatically suggested to me baloney

February 19, 2011

Bologna Sandwiches

A few days ago a friend said “So I assume you like bologna, or at least it doesn’t make you sick.”

His assumption was correct; although I don’t really like bologna, it doesn’t make me sick.

I smiled and agreed with him, but I couldn’t explain why. I began to consider the reasoning behind it all. The motivation, the purpose, the true meaning of bologna. As I discovered the role it plays in my life, it became obvious that there is so much more going on here than just my lunch.

Given the choice between a bologna sandwich and just about any other food I would drop the bologna in a second. However on any given day you can probably find bologna in my refrigerator. I often eat it for lunch and I have eaten it for dinner on many occasions.

Bologna is the bottom line of lunches. It is the slacker of sandwiches. It gets the job done, it exists, it fills the void and that’s about all. One bologna sandwich is much like another. After a while the taste is irrelevant. Bologna takes on the taste of its surroundings: bread, cheese, mustard. Before the sandwich, my stomach is empty, after the sandwich my stomach is not empty. It is not a dining experience, it’s a fill-the-void experience. No thought is invested, no creativity required.

I eat bologna not because I like the taste but because I don’t give it much thought. The process does not begin in the break room where I eat my pasty little sandwich and pretend to be interested in the same old women’s magazines that I’ve read twice before. The process does not begin in my kitchen when I put the sandwich together in a grumpy haze where the preparation of toast and jam for breakfast seems to conflict with the mustard and cheese of lunch. The whole bologna process begins in the grocery store.

This is the place where decisions are made. Choice, variety, options, there is much to choose from and several variables to take into account. By the time I arrive at the store I am ready to leave. The people, the musak, the lighting, the whole scene bothers me. If I make a list I usually leave it at home and end up buying a few random things on my way towards the exit. I know exactly where the bologna is in the grocery store. I know which brands are cheap. I know the turkey bologna from the pork, chicken and beef byproduct bologna. I even know the German style bologna and I do not recommend it. Once I secure the bologna, all I need is bread and I can make lunch for a few days.

It is not for the lack of sandwich knowledge that I stuck with bologna. I know there something better out there. I have tasted it.

If I wanted to I could make a great sandwich with tomatoes, sprouts, lettuce, onions, cucumbers, avocado, turkey, ham, Dijon mustard, mayo and a few paper thin slices of kosher dill piled high on nine-grain bread.

I spent a  couple years making sandwiches for other people. Turkey, ham, roast beef, corned beef, tuna salad, tarragon chicken, BLT, Reuben, hot, cold, toasted, extra mayo, no mayo, no mustard, no lettuce, extra tomatoes, for here and to go. Would you like soup with that? Or maybe a salad? I recommend the tarragon chicken. The tuna salad is excellent, if you like tuna. Would you like that on honey wheat, sourdough, light rye, dark rye or nine grain? Perhaps on a baguette or bagel? And your choice of cheeses: cheddar, swiss, jarlsburg, havarti, cream cheese or no cheese at all.

Before that I worked the graveyard shift in a really bright kitchen making hundreds of sandwiches each night. I made 25 at a time. I was a sandwich machine. Fifty slices of various kinds of bread all laid out, ready for the stuff. It was important to work quickly because the bread, once exposed, would soon dry out in the harsh environment of an industrial kitchen. First I applied the spread, a proprietary mixture of mayonnaise and Dijon mustard, to both slices of bread. (the dijon/mayo ratio was critical) Next, I applied one ounce of cheese per sandwich. The cheese acted as a moisture barrier between the contents of the sandwich and the bread. Then came the meat, two ounces of turkey, ham or roast beef. Finally, tomatoes and lettuce. I had to make sure the lettuce was sliced correctly, not too cole-slaw-thin and not too thick. Then I put the sandwiches together and cut them in half at a flattering 45° angle. A sandwich looks much bigger when the halves are nice isosceles triangles. I placed the sandwich on a polystyrene tray with the sliced surface of both halves facing the same direction, clearly displaying the contents of the sandwich. Finally, I added a garnish. Then shrink wrapped and labeled and priced each one. Then I did it again, and again. I came back the next night and did it a few hundred more times.

It is not for the lack of sandwich knowledge that I am stuck with bologna. I have made enough sandwiches to know that there is something better out there.

Bologna is the baseline. It is the point at which lunch cannot get any lower. In that sense it is comforting. An old friend. A dependable lunch date.

It is not for the lack of funds that I am forced to eat bologna. I am not forced to eat it. I can afford to buy turkey breast, or corned beef, or veggie burgers. I sometimes eat bologna three days in a row, then go out for lunch, order pizza for dinner and spend a week’s worth of grocery money drinking at the bar.

The potential for more is there. It has been there from the beginning and I assume it will be there in a few years. Past experience has proven that something more is possible.

I can talk about it, dream about it, write it down and plan ahead. But it all comes down to a decision, a choice. It takes some thought and a bit of effort. It’s a stretch and then it’s a commitment. When faced with a decision I tend to look way down the road to what I view as the final product, leaving out all the intermediate steps. Most of the time the final product is talked down, discounted and viewed in a poor light. I can talk myself out of something in a second because I make it seem difficult and not worth the effort. Then I fall back on the old standby, the sure thing, good old bologna.

Make a plan for the future and then act on it. Whenever I have a definite plan, an objective, a goal, I have no problem achieving it. However, what I have here is… a failure to plan. Baseline existence. Getting by. Just being. Going through the motions with no goals for the future and no attempt to connect to the grand scheme of things. I have been to the grocery store many times. I can put whatever I want in the cart and buy it. But what do I want?



this little ditty was written in 1994 when I lived in Bellingham. It was inspired by eating many lunches in the breakroom at Whatcom Pathology Lab with Dr. J Lonner.

brown bag lunches and a breakroom entered my workday existence once again in 2010.

I still eat bologna sandwiches.

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if you teach a man to fish you can lead a horse to water but be careful what you wish for

February 19, 2011

will there be enough water never tasted so good


2 Comments | Add Comment | Permalink

do you see what I see?

February 17, 2011

looks like you could use a coozie

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it'll all make sense behind a white picket fence

February 17, 2011

tire sucking expansion joints

running parallel  pushing the river

motion sensors sense motion

sitting on the fence

do as I say    not as I do

the efficiency expert said most inefficiently

the system breaking down systematically

the path of least resistance du jour

sandbaggers and goldbrickers

lapping up upon my ankles

held back by traffic signals

released at regular intervals

headlights sweep across the wall

reality reflected in the window

coming and or going

leave it for the next guy

like the guy before did for me

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when we talk about top tube pads

February 16, 2011

a clean well lighted place re-redux

February 15, 2011

69 photo


This is re-reprinted here again because I finally quit that messenger shit once and for all. Originally published in kickstand six or seven years ago...but   you know, it's that same as it ever was.

When I finally quit this messenger shit, once and for all, I’m going to open a bike shop. A big bright historic space with huge store front windows and high ceilings and wood floors. With passive solar heating in the winter, and well placed shade in the summer. I’m going to work there all the time, six or seven days a week. The shop will be beautiful, stocked with every bike tool ever invented. French, Italian, Japanese, you name it, I will have it, hung neatly on the shop walls. Everything in its place. A place for everything. I will have two Campagnolo Cork Screws with Cherry handles. I will have seven different kinds of bike tool bottle openers. I will have four brands of headset presses. The 3000 square foot work space will have work stands and tools for 5 full-time mechanics, so I can work on 5 of my bikes all at once.  Two air compressors enclosed in sound proof cases. Truing stands bolted down to work benches 42.5 inches off the ground. I will have two Phil Wood spoke cutters/threaders. There will be cement floors and drains built in so I can hose it all down when the kegs overflow or the chainlube explodes or the cat pukes or the shit hits the fan. I will have shop dogs and shop cats. The bike book library will be monumental. The furniture will be well designed, attractive, comfortable and functional. There will be no non-dairy creamer. The coffee will be good. The beer will be cold. There will be wholesale accounts with everyone and everyone. Paul, Phil, Chris, Grant, Brooks, Mavic, Moots, Sachs, Sidi, Swobo. For me and my friends of course.

I will be at work all the time. I’ll show up 5:30am, or 3:00pm, or not at all. I’ll spend the night. I’ll stay for two weeks straight. Or take a week off if I feel like it. However, the shop will not be open to the public. The sign on the door will say “closed”, and if you flip it over it‘ll say “closed”. I’ll also have a large neon CLOSED sign, and it’ll be on all the time, like a beacon of freedom constantly sending its message, at all hours of the day and night. I’ll be in there working hard on my own bikes. Or on poetry, free lance writing, silk-screening, carpentry, cooking breakfast, pondering or drinking beer and pondering. The shop hours will not be posted. The phone will not be connected, so people cannot call and ask about the shop hours. And there will not be any employees because I won’t need any. This will eliminate any potential human relations issues, staff meetings, communication failures, personality problems, scheduling conflicts, and all the junior-high shit that goes along with trying to run a business with employees. Fuck that.

I will be in the shop but I won‘t be selling anything. Retail bullshit will not enter my sphere of existence. The windows will have incredible displays of bicycle art and elegant simple functional bikes because I like window displays. And I’ll spend hours creating them for my own enjoyment, not to attract customers. I‘ll be in the shop, reading the NY Times, listening to Miles Davis, or the White Stripes, or the Minute Men, or Bob Mould, or Guided by Voices, or Modest Mouse, or Guns n Roses or NPR and drinking coffee and beer and beer and coffee. Customers with stupid questions or flat tires or sheepskin seat covers or cracked carbon fiber forks can knock on the door all day long and I might even notice them between Hüsker Dü songs playing on the Bose Wave Radio, but probably not, and if I do, I’ll give them a half smile then get back to my work. My work as a sole proprietor and my work drinking beer and pondering.

The back door will be unlocked and open whenever I am in the shop and friends can stop by and bring their dogs and work on their bikes and add or subtract to the cold beer in the double wide Sub-Zero fridge or hit the bottomless pot of black coffee. The shop will include a beautiful stainless steel commercial sized kitchen. And a sleeping loft and an amazing bathroom with more magazines than a news stand, and I will not have to worry about customers fucking it up, because there will not be any customers.

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Swenson Say What?

February 14, 2011

let's all have another orange julius

February 13, 2011

riding two abreast concentric circles nest

February 12, 2011

spoke prep cook

February 11, 2011

I could purchase this attractive half-pint container of boiled linseed oil at a high-end art supply store or I could purchase a quart at any hardware store for just a little bit more. Just like buying a fancy green tube of Phil Wood grease at the local bike shop or buying a mondo tub of grease at any auto parts store. Now’s the time to ask yourself, What would Ron Sutphin do? It’s a quick cost-benefit analysis, taking into account margins of utility, unused inventory, hip-cool-trendy-nowness, waste and stupidity. How much boiled linseed oil does a weekend warrior need? Well what weekend are we talking about? Do you think the clerk at the art supply store will chat you up about spoke prep? Or the clerk at the hardware store will want to talk about mixing oil paints? Do you think the threads on your bottle cage bolts know who Phil Wood is? And and and finally,  do you think the guy at Schucks cares if you’re buying a half gallon of multipurpose blue marine grease and you’re wearing your bike helmet in his store?

SpokePrep   it’s what Larry would do

You might say red  you might say blue

I’d say non-drive side  and  then  drive side

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Big Two-Hearted River

February 10, 2011

just riding along on a short attention span
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dust bunnies

February 9, 2011

one at a time - one of a kind

February 8, 2011

one-of-a-kind  one-at-a-time   silkscreened slowly and then eventually emerging from deep within the subterranean station that is pilderwasser world headquarters   hand delivered via bicycle fueled by high octane Elysian beer and grilled cheese sandwiches
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lower limit screw

February 8, 2011

stale smells
escape from open windows

vanillaroma air fresheners
sweat cigarette smoke

garlic pizza revisited
in more ways than one

one more time
around the block

slowing circling looking for parking

the object in mirror closer than it appears
is a guy on a bike

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on two contact patches the size of radishes

February 7, 2011

fixed gear conversion virgins whack track stand

February 6, 2011

A to the G

February 6, 2011

this is Mr. Adrian Garcia aka AG who came through with the artwork yesterday after taking good care of all three panels of it and even changing homes with it several times through various zip codes in the Seattle area over the years since CMWC 2003


thank you
thank you
thanks again AG

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convex mirrors around blind corners

February 4, 2011

why so tense?

February 2, 2011

A pair of spokes walk into a bar

the bartender says, “Why so tense?”


right here  or   there in the shop that produces the finest bike wheels in the world one may occasionally see a retired wire spoke performing tasks that spokes are good for, like fishing in valve holes or letting the air out of tubular tires’ valve extenders or picking turkey out of teeth, as the possibilities follow the versatility and the utility  and  and  and  here’s to the concept the idea the memory and or the theory of driving brass nipples clockwise in the name of uniform spoke tension in and for the County of King residing in Seattle

see Wheel Fanatyk for photo and info on FSA tensiometer

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those in the know, know

February 1, 2011

AHTBM hat in situ

no   now   know
blood sweat & JB Weld
slapdash hacksaw adaptor
retrofitted forward thinking
aftermarket upgrade

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Where the hell is Grinnell?

January 31, 2011

this year RAGBRAI rolls through Grinnell and spends the night

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Monday is a working day

January 31, 2011

"Life is a daily battle against the accretion of tiny entropies"

              like Little Edie said of Grey Gardens  

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Spokane WA 99205

January 30, 2011

having grown up in a town where dogs ran free
at a time when there were no leash laws   at a time
when a kid on a bike    was a rather attractive rabbit
for an Irish Setter named Chester with nothing better to do...

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8 years later, the truth is still true

January 30, 2011

This little ditty is re-reprinted from kickstand #15  

For the art show at the CMWC 2003 in Seattle,  I produced a larger-than-life 4’ x 12’ triptych of this little comic strip. Each panel was blown up at Kinkos on the blueprint machine, then wheat pasted and painted onto canvas stretched over wood frames in a d i y garage arts-n-craft weekend fiesta-o-rama.

After the art show it ended up at WaLegal base briefly and then I let AG take it home to hold onto it until I could find a place for it because my home at the time did not have a stretch of wall space large enough to accommodate the hugeness of its bigger than big big size and I was not in the mood to schlep them home anyway.

Now, here it is, eight years later and I’m wondering what ever happened to those three panels of it’s-funny-because-it’s-true.

If you’re listening AG…do you still have them? Or does anyone know what happened to them and if they’re still together???

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vegetable protein added for texture

January 29, 2011

OEM ± 2.54cm

January 28, 2011

2011 Raleigh Port Townsend pilderwassered

What came out of the box now rolls a little something like this:

   Reynolds 520 Butted Chromoly Tubing
   4130 Chromoly Cross
   Shimano Sora 2pc 34/50t
   Shimano Outboard Bearing
   Shimano Sora
   Shimano Sora
   Shimano DuraAce Bar-End on the downtube
   Cane Creek
   Cane Creek Rear, Avid Front
   Shimano HG50 9spd (11-25t)
   FSA RD-60 wheelset black
   Continental Gatorskins
   Shimano spd
   old old flat bar hacked to 19.5”
   Salsa older than dirt
   FSA Alloy with some wicked setback
   Flite with classic nose peel taped
   Ahead 1-1/8" w/Alloy Cup
   Black is the new Thursday
   Ritchey True Grip  
   Fenders and Cup Holder  
   Specifications are Subject to Change

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January 26, 2011

pick a gear   any gear
ride it for a year

like anything else
you get used to it

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like a fish needs a bicycle

January 25, 2011

roadbikereview photo

Hey Mr. Chris Murray

If you put these on your bike, you won't need to ride across Iowa, you'll float. 

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what would John Forester do?

January 25, 2011

There are few things that bother me as much as getting scolded by a vehicular cyclist. Especially when the scolding comes at 6:30am while I’m  rolling slowly through an intersection when the only people on the road are me and the vehicular cyclist. Not a car in sight. I am conditioned to expect scolding from drivers and when it comes from a another cyclist it stings a bit more.

I did nothing to endanger Mr. Righteous Commuter when I went to the sidewalk on the left of him on 12th Avenue and gracefully crossed Madison and onto Union while he posted up in the left turn lane like a traffic safety instructor with one foot down smack dab in the middle of a 5-way intersection. No matter what John Forester says or what Dave Hiller wants you to do, there are ways around left turn lanes that I believe are safer for cyclists and less annoying to drivers.  I meant no disrespect to his respect for the red light. In my opinion traffic signals in the wee hours are like serving suggestions and not rigid recipes to be followed to the exact teaspoon. The strict vehicular cyclist recipe won’t work for me no matter what time it is or how much traffic is on the road.  I’ll cherry pick the parts that make sense and disregard the rest.

At the green light on Pike at Broadway I sat and waited for Mr. RC to catch up just to see if he really was talking to me but he had nothing more to say.

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lifestyle sponsorship

January 24, 2011

and you may ask yourself

When’s the last time Jonny Sundt patched an inner tube?

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What we talk about when we talk about full-fendered flat-barred urban utility bikes

January 23, 2011

she came in through the bathroom window

January 23, 2011

all is well in Ordersville
hypotenusing through the tulips  
golden ratios pop up everywhere
perpendicularly pleasing to the eye
aesthetically actually and or anecdotally
apparently not so accidentally
Entropy Avenue is a one way street
rotate exactly 90° counterclockwise
nonverbally virtually vertical on the horizon
the vanishing point is just over the next hill

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53 lbs of utility

January 21, 2011

kegerator [keg-uh-ray-ter]

January 20, 2011


kegerator is a noun that means more of this and this and less of that  

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do you speak the lingo?

January 19, 2011

see no hear no breathe no

January 19, 2011

87 photo

acetone daydreams
wipe    it      clean

but that’s   too emo        so     
harden the fuck up

ask me about
proper paperclip placement per pencil

don’t forget to account for
parallax error

converting metric to standard
with a firm grip on the Channellocks

for best results
insert fork in toaster

predicting pedestrians
gets good done did

things will work out
like disposable income
fingerlicking vulcanizing
patch kits patch its  

    *         *
snake   bite

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you say Electrolyte, I say Pickle Juice

January 18, 2011

reach out and touch dissimilar metals

January 16, 2011

lube   your   post
try not to take anything too seriously
support your local bike shop
and   wear a sweater

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what's that?

January 15, 2011

same on the weekends as the rest of the days

January 15, 2011

here we are
once again
at the valve hole
land mark
bench mark
question mark
pilder mark
lazy susan
trends tend to
come back around
do not adjust your set
mega pixel pixilation
blurred vision
light headedness
sudden loss in cabin pressure
fresh synapses firing
the brain rewiring

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NEW LOOK!!! Same Great Taste.

January 13, 2011

Please take a moment to locate the DANK bag nearest you

keep in mind   it may be behind you

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vector scalar tensor cantilever chatter

January 11, 2011

 from VeloNews-o-rama

phantom slow leak syndrome
glycogen stores sold out


false flat

up hill both ways
no          really   for real

psi               check it
tpi                read about it

Mr. Tuffy
how ya like me now?

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nonfat decaf mocha extra whip

January 11, 2011

it's Happy Hour every day, just this side of Yuki's Diffusion

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are you kidding me?

January 9, 2011

dot the connects

January 9, 2011

stop gap psychosomatic head set spacer

January 7, 2011

beer can shim

January 5, 2011

Daddy, what’s he doing?

Oh honey, that man is shifting gears.


Those are downtube shifters.

What is down tube?

Well honey, those are another kind of shifter that activate the derailleur to move the chain on the cogset, they’re just a bit antiquated and rather inconvenient when compared to the STI levers you have on your tricycle.

Why is he doing that?

Well honey, he appears to be kind of a retro grouch.

Like Oscar?

Yeah I guess, he’s sort of like Oscar, and he has a thing for steel too.

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to build a better bass boat

January 5, 2011

stardog champion

January 3, 2011

Chris Murray photo

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harder better faster stronger pilder wasser

January 2, 2011

The longer a bike spends in the pilderwasser household the more it begins to look like all the other bikes around here. People look like their pets. Form fluidly follows function living and working in the margins of utility cycling slowly exorcising the demons of janky bike parts past with a little bit tighter tolerances and different definitions.

A new bike in the stable kick starts a mini tsunami butterfly effect in full  chain reaction cherry picking parts off of other older bikes morphing the new kid on the block until it’s obviously a pilderwasser until it’s one of us as obvious as Stevil’s new bikes sport the stem and bars and saddle and seat post combo in ways very similar from ride to ride. Points of contact relative.  

Port Townsend came to town on Thursday and since then has gone on only brief tweaking test rides around the block and one inaugural beer run but it’s only a short time before it’ll be asked to take over commuter duty full time. Early observations include a solid smooth Cadillac quality ride and excellent action on the cantilever brakes (see disembodied hand shadow bike fence photo)

Avoiding the lack of foresight hasty hacksaw reaction of a younger man I left the steer tube uncut with spacers stacked up like poker chips because I’m still playing around with the stem and bars and lever levels and it seems prudent to put some miles on it before hacking chopping crimping and feruling.

Gave the stock stem and bars a minute of consideration before going with a riser bar because I’m old but not so Aaron’s-Bike-Shop-old where I want my bars above my saddle by a country mile ala Grant Peterson what’s the point of drop bars rising oh so high on a high rise stem?

The bar end shifters bumped down to the downtube in a resourceful use of resources readily available. The pedals never made it past the packaging because it’s personal like the saddle see Selle San Marco.  Plan to give the derailleurs a chance and try the shifting thing for a while because if I strip this bike down to one gear it really will look just like all the other pilderwassers.

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one - two - one one

January 2, 2011