a quality of life issue

pilderwasser unlimited T-shirts  pilder what? kickstand P know knew spew snap shots autoBIKEography RAGBRAI  slide shows phot-o-rama stationary-a-gogo 1/2 x 3/32 links

social media horseshit

September 19, 2018

click here for chance to win a $25 starbucks gift card


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tooth fairy

September 13, 2018

eight years ago today I set down my nextel and walked away

but      ask me about teeth

incoming and outgoing 


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let's roll

September 11, 2018

three orange whips

September 10, 2018

When I was a kid my mom took us in a ‘71 Monte Carlo on a road trip to Seattle and then all the way up into British Columbia almost to Alaska and back down and around. Stopping along the way in various hotels and restaurants. I was fond of collecting sugar packets from one and depositing them in another. Taking them out of context and putting them back in     somewhere else down the road.

 

I’m still a big fan of repurposing things retrofitting or flipping it sideways and making an end table out of it. I like road signs in living rooms. I like collections of toaster ovens in surplus piles. I like to make artwork from hundreds of discarded bike computers. I really like free piles on the side of the road and I like to shop in thrift stores.

 

The other Saturday I saw this shirt hanging in a thrift store. It was already placed on the end of the rack which is the only reason I noticed it.

 

The only thing cooler than that is spotting a shirt that I made moving around on a complete stranger.

 milkshake photo

 

 


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titular

September 6, 2018

President Emeritus of the Profile Design Cup Holder Club 


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ask me ask me ask me

September 5, 2018

ask me about my bottom bracket

ask me about my sweater vest

ask me about a 16" tire exploding in the garage when nobody is home to hear it and if it makes a sound

 


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shimmed out with a Milwaukee's Best Ice can

August 29, 2018

Are you my Uber?

August 21, 2018

Did you hear the one about the bike messenger

 

wearing layers when it’s cooler outside and as the day or activity warmed up he’d shed a layer or two then add one as needed.

 

Layer upon layer of black. He’d step into an elevator dressed in black and take off two layers before the mezzanine  exiting still all in black. Like a birthday party clown trick. He kept taking off layers and no matter how you sliced it he was dressed in black.



Did you hear the one about the former bike messenger

 

Now a crusty commuter he still dresses in layers some of them black rolling into work and at work he’s sporting branded apparel approved by the trademarks and licensing office some of it black rolling around on an electric assist cargo bike provided by the large government-run organization. On cooler rainy days he may have up to 4 layers on and he can still do the birthday party clown trick shedding one or two and they keep coming up with that W on the left breast.  



Did you hear the one about the Uber driver

 

That stopped in the middle of a 4-way stop intersection effectively blocking all traffic without a hint of a warning to unload passengers from 3 doors

 

It was a disgusting example of where we are today

 

and then

 

A conservatively dressed older woman on an E-Lime bike bombed through the gridlock at full speed downhill slicing in and out of it all like a seasoned pro messenger. She completely owned it. And that made me smile and feel a just a little bit better about where we are.





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don't sweat the horseshit

August 15, 2018

the disparity

between talk talked and walk walked

 

has always

bothered me

 

the news headlines spoon fed me

could be an entire Joy Williams story

 

but in the context of fiction it’d be ok

to feel slightly off in a different way

 

whoever packed the plastic family

gave me two grandpas and no grandma

 

packed not by weight not by volume

but by the number of family members

 

 


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between two slices of bread

August 13, 2018

my old lady says potato salad sandwiches are not normal

I guess I would agree but they do come in handy 


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long stretches of boredom punctuated by periods of extreme boredom

August 3, 2018

boredom is a hallmark holiday

somewhere along renewal or decay

equidistant between Rainier and MLK


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I used to work in Chicago

August 1, 2018

Steve G photo 

Playing a little rugby at the finest liberal arts school in the country I sang that song with beer in hand while earning an anthropology degree to be put to use immediately in the food service industry then later used as a bike messenger later still at a small carbon fiber wheel manufacturer housed in an old Wallingford bakery heavily influenced by the aerospace industry followed soon after by a small nonprofit community bike shop in an old house in Columbia City.

 

I used to work in Chicago in an old department store.

I used to work at Mad Fiber   I don’t work there anymore.

I used to work at Bike Works I don't work there anymore. 

 

Yesterday Steve sent me this visual of a recent donation at Bike Works maybe you saw it on instagram like 18 hours ago but it brings back memories of sitting on a stool in a windowless room with semiadequate ventilation hunched over a Mad Fiber wheel that looked exactly like the last wheel and exactly like the next wheel grinding away with a dremel tool in hand wearing two pairs of gloves goggles ear protection and a respirator huffing acetone and carbon dust for 8 hours a day.

There's a very good chance that I bonded those spokes to those hub shells and or ground out the valve hole and cleaned up the over flowing super duper super glue and then wiped it all down with a shop rag drenched in acetone. 


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ofo you didn't -- v 2.0

July 31, 2018

undular bore

July 24, 2018

out of nowhere

or right on schedule

 

ONE WAY

or another

 

a minor setback

or a series of physical challenges

 

microaggressions

password protected arbitrary deadlines

 

feats of strength

proving grounds

 

slights

disses

 

close calls

oblivious third party near misses

 

undular bores

momentary lapses

 

as 33 John would say

“I ran into   a bit of a snag”

 


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slow boat

July 19, 2018

the other Tuesday I picked up a rather large box out in the 98115 and to bring it back into 98195 I used two long bungee cords to strap it on top of the cargo box. Rolling south I visualzed wind tunnel testing a cargo bike with a stack of boxes on top and it felt like this

that's not the Kirsten I had a crush on in high school that's Frederick Kirsten

finally, in conclusion, because I'm into product placement, brand recognition, consumer loyalty and buying locally I'd like to draw your attention to that slow boat water bottle from the Slow Boat Tavern in the heart of Hilman City. 


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pilderwhatever

July 18, 2018

 

I know a guy that knows a guy that organized a RAGBRAI-like little bike ride somewhere in the Chicagoland area and named his group pilderwhatever. 

 


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cable routing changes sunglasses stay the same

July 17, 2018

the severity of the disparity

July 12, 2018

Darwin's Conjecture

Darwin
was desperate
for proof
that animals wept.
It wasn’t enough
that houseflies hum
in the key of F
or that Dall sheep keep
lifelong their horns,
adding like trees
a ring each year.
Darwin wanted tears.

Being the only
species that weeps
was lonely,
thought Darwin,
dreaming
of manic animals.
No, it wasn’t enough
that honey bees
can count to four.
Darwin wanted more.

Or less.
Confess it—
the reason why
humans cry
is the mess
they fashion
in comparison to
the paradise
they can imagine.
Animals, if
they imagine,
must be less
distressed
by the severity
of the disparity.
Or maybe they have 
less disparity.
Or less mess.

As to why
Darwin hoped
that animals cry
we can only guess—
which is a form
of imagining,
and could lead
to the emergence
of tears. Instead 
let us hum
in the key of F
and count to four
or more.
Or less,
and know
the aurora borealis
as glimpsed through
the fretwork of 
a construction crane
is a metaphor
for our brain
and also an analogy
for why we cry,
all the while—
like Darwin—
humming against
the immensity.




—Jessica Goodfellow

 

I read this on the Sheena Easton train printed on the acid-free archival-quality paper of The Threepenny Review and it changed my day


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it's important to take a moment, stop and smell the hairspray

July 10, 2018

summer time rolls XLIX

July 9, 2018

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