a quality of life issue

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solid state

March 20, 2019

I met the owner of this solid state Ross the other Monday and she calls it her "tank"

 

she's had it since 1982 and she'll probably still have it when all the local bike shops go out of business because the bike industry goes completely on-line direct-to-consumer-mail-order delivery via On-Trac independent contractors and bike repair will only be available from mobile bike shops 

 

the cool thing is she won't need much repair work done on this beauty in the next 30 years


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Happy Birthday to she

March 19, 2019

spring loaded

March 18, 2019

on the favoritism spectrum

March 15, 2019

do me a favor, don't do me any favors


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Count On It!

March 14, 2019

premium rush

March 12, 2019

i had a dream i was day dreaming near the bike rack in the tunnel at Two Union.  as i listened to the rain and stared into space one of the stodgy security guards in an ill-fitting blue blazer came out and said to me sternly "Sir, I need to move your bike, it's blocking the loading dock" but as he reached for the handlebars and braced for my over reaction,  i just chuckled because it wasn't my bike


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between bridges bro

March 11, 2019

follow your passion

March 8, 2019

would you rather drive a big vacuum truck around town and suck the shit out of honey buckets or work in the Lane Powell mail room

 

those are your only two choices

 

can't you smell that smell    no not that smell i'm talking about Lane Powell


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are you my jimmy john?

March 7, 2019

bike industry standard oat milk

March 6, 2019

to a simple time before amazon prime robot grocery stores and drones dropping your immediate gratification shit in the neighbor's yard a time of one inch threaded headsets when a pair of wrenches was all you needed and your dog was dropping his shit in the neighbor's yard because dogs roamed free and coke was 50 cents and coffee was a dollar and there were not 5 or 6 choices of what fucking kind of milk you want with your 142 boost and 5 or 6 hundred headsets to choose from in the qbp catalog  


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workings for the weekends

March 4, 2019

two colloquia walk into a bar

the bartender says, Are you fucking kidding me? 

the first colloquium says, I'm a frayed knot 

the second colloquium says, Why the long face? 

 

how was your weekend?

what'd you do this weekend?

got big plans for next weekend? 

 


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can't get there from here

March 1, 2019

two parallel lines wrap around a perfect cylinder coming back around the end becomes the beginning a commencement of sorts sort of rolling over to Albertsons for a free cookie only that's not Albertsons anymore it's a Metropolitan Market and they don't do the free cookie thing bro but the elegant simplicity of the formula to calculate the volume of that cylinder is like a stack of cookies

 


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cross over appeal

February 28, 2019

viewing the world through Jonny Sundt's old rose colored Axleys


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by any other name would smell as sweet

February 27, 2019


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sunday morning easy like

February 24, 2019

i like a little snow on a sunday morning then by sunday afternoon i like it all to melt and stay away for two or three years 


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the thousand-yard stare

February 24, 2019

i've often pondered the fine line between genius and insanity and i've always been a big fan of lists and collections. last week i finished reading Donald Antrim's piece in the New Yorker after starting and stopping it a few times because it's not exactly uplifting reading first thing in the morning 

but his list   cut & pasted below    is a good one.

 

Depression, hysteria, melancholia, nervousness, neurosis, neurasthenia, madness, lunacy, insanity, delirium, derangement, demonic possession, black humors, black bile, yellow bile, the black dog, the blues, the blue devils, a brown study, the vapors, a funk, a storm, the abyss, an inferno, Hell, a pain syndrome, stress, an anxiety disorder, lack of affect, an affective disorder, a mood disorder, panic, loneliness, bad wiring, a screw loose, a mercurial temperament, irritability, schizophrenia, unipolar disorder, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention-deficit disorder, borderline personality disorder, laziness, pain, rumination, grief, mourning, malingering, unhappiness, hopelessness, sadness, low spirits, invalidism, despondency, dysthymia, detachment, disassociation, dementia praecox, neuralgia, fibromyalgia, oversensitivity, hypersensitivity, idiocy, an unsound mind, cowardice, obstinacy, apathy, recalcitrance, spleen, a broken heart, battle fatigue, shell shock, self-pity, self-indulgence, self-centeredness, weakness, withdrawal, distraction, distemper, a turn in the barrel, a break in a life narrative, bad thoughts, bad feelings, coming undone, coming apart, falling apart, falling to pieces, willfulness, defiance, thoughts of hurting oneself or others, the thousand-yard stare, craziness, rage, misery, mania, morbidity, genius, suicidality, suicidal ideation, aggression, regression, decompensation, drama, breakdown, crackup, catatonia, losing one’s mind, losing one’s shit, losing one’s way, wasting away, psychic disorganization, spiritual despair, shame, raving, the furies, a disease, an enigma, a tragedy, a curse, a sin, and, of course, psychosis—suicide, in the past and in our time, has been called many things.


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when Cool Guy was cool

February 22, 2019

here's to the smell of spring in the air and more hours of daylight


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4:20 bro

February 20, 2019

Even when the hair grows back it’ll still be 3:33 and in my time zone it will never really be 4:20 bro my clock runs slow or fast depending on how much horseshit is in the room and on hallmark holidays half past a monkey's ass inverse proportionally even directly it was psychosomatically suggested to me by a pharmaceutical company and i said i see the consumer feedback focus groups came up with another spectacular name for the thing placebonoyoudiunt  placebo yes they did      if you think it is    it is       a high resolution digital photo of a black & white line drawing of an analog watch inked seven layers deep in the skin no more no less 3 x 1 = the magic number


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the final 50 fucking feet

February 19, 2019

spoon in the road

February 12, 2019

normal operation suspension of disbelief

snow days daze

4-day weekend maybe five

what day is it? 

help me get my boots off

on   off   on   off   on

my socks are wet


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