Just around the corner from catastrophic failure not just some jackass bike mechanic making fun of unsuspecting customer’s bikes on instagram this is my seat post the one I rode to work today and yesterday and off and on here and there for the past 17 years since I bought it used at Recycled Cycles back when they actually sold used bikes and used bike parts. Yesterday I thought my saddle was creaking up a storm and I thought it was the ti rails in the seatpost clamp that I haven’t really touched or even looked at for years because I hardly ever ride the Soma anymore. I’m sure there have been some creaks coming from that bike in the past few years but I’m really good at compartmentalizing and the harmonic dissonance of old full fenders rattling takes center stage or takes over like smooth white noise. Someday a real rain will come and silence all the creaks and squeaks for a little while then they’ll all dry out and be even worse than before. A reliable maintenance schedule could be turning up the music a little bit louder. Just ignore it, it will all go away some day. Last night in the dark garage after the kids went to sleep I greased the shit out of the clamp and the bolt and the rails and slapped it all back together and turned off the light as there aren’t many test rides around here only rides to work this morning I hopped on and rode to work and the fucking saddle seemed to be creaking even more than before so when I got to the HoneyComb Hideout I yanked the post out and finally noticed the crack the big big crack with the big big creak that’s been trying to tell me something for years.
Every place kicker dreams of the fake field goal direct snap roll out TD pass
Efren Herrera had a few attempts and caught a pass or two too
the fake field goal is under utilized these days in the conservative all business NFL and nobody seems to pull off on-side kicks any more. high school teams execute these things much better than the pros
Every morning at 832 on the way to work I pass a park with a soccer field and a couple baseball diamonds and near the first base line bleachers on one of them stands an older gentleman and I say to myself “there’s Tai Chi guy”
the sound of a pressure washer nextdoor blasting in my head as the neighbor has some expensive toys and feels like he needs to use them even when there is no use for them he's blasting the same stretch of driveway he blasted last week so don't worry there will be no moss growth today on his driveway as hundreds of gallons of water shoot through a confined space at a high rate down the drain.
on a bike this makes the most sense to other cyclists and motorists. in the increasingly rare circumstance when I actually need to signal a right turn like when I really really have to take a piss in this cornfield right now on RAGBRAI I like to use my right leg.
fight the power 220 221 whatever it takes. what is that guy doing.?
the cocked left arm makes sense when you're driving a car with no turn signals. on a bike it's horseshit and I can say it's horseshit because I don't have any sponsors or source of income here I'm trying to dance around and appeal to the masses I'm making fun of or search engines i'm optimizing or Cascade Bike Club .83 schmaltz.
Dr 37 Mike sent me the poster below via the good old fashioned USPS arriving at my door he didn't send me the link he didn't snapchat it he didn't create a fucking facebook event page he actually mailed me an 11 x 17 piece of paper in a tube and then I stapled it onto the wall in a prominent position formerly held by the Hodala calendar here at pilderwasser world HQ not far from that JIS screwdriver 37 sent me a while back.
please take a moment to notice 37's bike it's a bike that gets ridden one might say it's the actual ultimate urban utility bike and now take a moment to notice the t-shirt under the lab coat that's a pilderwasser 1.0 circa 2004ish you can tell by the handlebar-to-seat-height ratio it's old school.
sitting on a park bench the day before today eating lunch from the musette Jonny Sundt gave me some years ago filled with Axley product because his new team could not be seen wearing that stuff I was thinking this has been my brown bag lunch sack my bag within my bag for the past 600 sack lunches or so so I sent El Gato a text message and then I thought maybe actually I sent some brogrammer new to Seattle a text message because he has the phone number Mr Sundt used to have because it’s been awhile either way any way I then learned that Dodge sponsored the Tour de Georgia in 2003 2004 2005 and it was a big deal big time UCI race here in the USofA won by guys like Chris Horner and Tom Danielson a guy named Floyd and a guy named Lance warming up for a little race in France and this little lunch sack is an artifact to the fact that El Gato was out there with the big guns bunny hopping traffic circles and doing bike handling things that come naturally to bike messengers from Okanogan County but may not come naturally to thoroughbred bike racers then I finished my lunch and went back to work no response from El Gato or from the brogrammer
not far from that same park bench "the Swisher Sweet Bunny laid another egg" like Wamsley said and they’re ubiquitous in this zipcode they grow on trees which reminds me of the time in highschool the first time I really really got housed was at a house party drinking Rainier tall boys and smoking Swisher Sweets --- I hurled and there has not been a need to touch Swisher Sweets again but Rainier Tall boys have been a recurring theme
9 hours later on the eve of another July a good time to get a little taste a whiff of RAGBRAI...
Shimano BR-MT63 brake levers: simple functional bomb proof no bullshit. they'll work with any caliper and make it feel better. the reach adustment clicky clicky flat head underside is pretty cool
Shimano SL-M732 thumb shifters: any derailleur any time any place. fuck finicky front derailleurs with friction shifting it's all over-rated horseshit ramps and pins whatever whatever
Prestige cro-moly flat bar with some serious sweep: gives any refurbished bike credibility instantly retroactively. this bar is too cool to use on any old bike.
when the pods blow when the grip shifts when I'm not feeling sram I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad.
if only I had an endless supply of cockpits from 1989. or cases and cases of NOS thumb shifters and brake levers. all y'all think I'm a luddite curmudgeon stuck in the past and maybe I am but I'm not just blowing my own bike horn I'm trying to refurbish hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of bikes every year. bikes with blown shifters bikes with blown everything bikes stripped down to nothing. simple versatile proven technology helps the rebuilding process. no fluffy trendy shit.
visualize an old road bike made in Waterloo with blown first generation STI levers. I'd chuck the drop bar and levers keep the stem and insert a dignified flat bar then add thumbies and these levers and then you'd have a great all-around urban utility bike.
how about an even older touring bike made in Japan with non-aero levers and down-tube shifters. I'd chuck the bar and levers and shifters. add el diablos. insert dignified flat bar add thumbies and these levers and you've got the ultimate super commuter.
picture a Rock Hopper 24 a kid-size mountain bike with a 6-speed shimano cassette and shit shifters. I'd ditch the whole cockpit and the worn out cassette. add a hacked-down handlebar with thumbies and these levers....
Stumbled upon this Gary Fisher on Friday. It got my attention because I wanted the thumb shifters and the brake levers for another bike. When I started cutting cables and removing parts I took a look at that hose clamp holding the downtube together and wondered how long this person rode like that and really wondered how they blew out a tube like that. This is not some dainty frame. Those oversized tubes are beyond beefy and strong like ox (see similar cross-section in Exhibit A below) The big fat inch & a quarter headset headtube steertube stem are all fun to look at in an incompatible historic way and this is not some hairline crack it’s a 3.5 inch long flap like an access panel into the frame.
All this reminds me that bikes are cool and even when they’re tweaked bent rusty squeaky or on the edge of catastrophic failure they’re still more efficient than walking.