what was that? is that all there is? who is this? this is it.

pilderwasser unlimited T-shirts  pilder what? kickstand P know knew spew snap shots autoBIKEography RAGBRAI  slide shows phot-o-rama stationary-a-gogo 1/2 x 3/32 links

round the way

June 7, 2025

A Bulldog T-shirt under a Big Time Hoodie. Both ends of my  coffee-beer continuum. Literally, figuratively, metaphorically, symbolically, gastronomically, economically, anaerobically, wardrobically. 

 

Single-handedly supporting the local economy, one beverage at a time. Frequent flyer cards in my wallet side-by-side. Buy 10,000 pints, get one free. Not just talking the talk, walking the walk, wearing the shirt. Wearing the shirt and the hoodie too.  A “most-regular regular” candidate. I’m drawn to authentic real-deal really-real places like these. They’re not fluffy or shiny or trendy or new. They are what they are. 

 

The owners of both establishments are pillars in the U-district community with a rich history of UW connections and plenty of stories to go with it all. 

 

More often than not, my workday begins at Bulldog with coffee and ends at Big Time with beer. Old School U-district all the way both ways. Round the way, University Way NE bro, you know "the Ave".  Just this side of 42nd on the Ave to just that side of 42nd across the Ave. 

 


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GMAC ± 333 lbs

June 5, 2025

Jimmy Timmy & Muster Mark

June 4, 2025

An electric-ass mailman trapped in the body of a washed up bike messenger with a liberal arts degree, walks into a bar

 

the bartender says, 

 

“three quarks for Muster Mark”

 

spot-on

 

Big Time

 

then Neil Degrasse Tyson says,

 

“The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you”

 

OK, cool 

 

is this the path of least resistance? 

 

no, it’s learned helplessness

 

don’t overthink it


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full lane may use bikes

June 3, 2025

 

While I slept it was all over,
Everything. My eyes, squashed white,
Flowed off toward dawn.

There was a noise,
Which, like all else, spread and disappeared:
There’s nothing worth seeing, listening for.

When I woke, everything seemed cut off.
I was a pipe, still smoking,
Which daylight would knock empty once again.

 

"The Pipe"

Shinkichi Takahashi

 


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non-drive side roll up bow down

June 2, 2025

I shared this photo with UW President Ana Mari Cauce and she responded with a “That’s great. It made my day. Thank you.” all before 8:17am this Monday morning. 

 

President Cauce is winding down her final weeks as President. I’ve had the privilege of being the electric ass Mr McFeely to her office in Gerberding for 73.7% of her tenure. I don’t talk to the president but I talk to the staff in her office and they talk to her for me. 

 

Ana Mari Cauce is a real badass, on so many levels and I believe she has done things the way they should be done, working through many difficult situations over the years. Now she can take a deep breath, relax a little bit and go back to being a psychology professor. 

 


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like butter, it is

May 30, 2025

I know a guy that knows a guy

May 29, 2025

I know a guy named Alistair and he’s kind of a big deal in the electric-ass bathtub world. This status is confirmed by the fact that Grin Tech recently asked him to pose for a selfie. He expressed his discomfort in this, saying he’s probably been in three selfies in his entire life. Then I asked if that included the Sally-Stevil fake selfie. He claimed to have no recollection of the events in question. But his recollection was actually spot-on. 

 

It took me a long time to find this shot in my slap-dash photo filing system. I even asked Sally to send it to me. But how could Sally have a fake selfie on his phone? June of 2021 feels like four years ago plus or minus fourteen more.  

 


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standard deviations

May 27, 2025

 
The plan keeps coming up again
And the plan means nothing stays the same
But the plan won't accomplish anything
If it's not implemented
 
Like it's always been
And it makes me think of everyone
The cause of this is evident
But the remedy cannot be found
'Cause it's so well hidden
 
This history lesson
Doesn't make any sense
In any less than
10, 000 year increments
Common sense
Common sense
Common sense
Common sense
Common sense
 
--"The Plan" 
Built to Spill 1999
 
 
random numbers
floating everywhere 
 
what if   they're
cut & pasted 
 
into
another context 
 
onto scrap wood
found on floor
 
in situ
resource utilization
 
zero sevens
abound
 
seven 07's
come around

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can't you smell that smell

May 25, 2025

Stepping off the elevator, the smell of microwave popcorn hangs thick in the air, recycled for hours by the so-called HVAC system. Eventually the entire floor reeks of Orville Redenbocker. Each arriving elevator opens to capture a few cubic yards of popcorn air and take it on a journey up or down to share with other floors in the building. Until finally, in a day or so, the smell will dissipate.

 

The source of the smell can be traced to the microwave in the breakroom, the underbelly of the law firm. A gritty, filthy, behind-the-scenes hangout for support staff. 

 

This is the office of our biggest client. I’ve been coming here off and on, but mostly on, for the past eleven years. Employed by four different messenger companies over that span. My paychecks have changed, at least the return address printed on them has changed although my net pay has stayed the same. 

 

In eleven years I’ve seen numerous receptionists come and go, countless legal secretaries as well as support staff and mailroom employees. Attorneys come and go too, but that does not affect me. A rookie in receiving or a temp at the front desk, those are the  people that really affect me. 

 

I’ve seen the office remodeled once. I saw the dot com boom. I saw big tobacco litigation. I’ve seen a few things in the legal messenger world. These people have seen me, the old-timers here know my name and say hello. I say hello back and sometimes I smile. One day years ago it was cold and raining and someone invited me into the break room for coffee and it has since become part of my routine. 

 

The coffee here is bad, but it’s free. And free is free. It’s Folgers in individually wrapped filter packs. No measuring. No mess. You just toss one in and press the red button. I don’t actually work here and I think I’m the only person that drinks this shit, except maybe James in office services. 

 

I prefer to drink my coffee from light colored mugs so I can see what I’m drinking. But today my choices are limited so I’m using a dark blue pharmaceutical company mug and gazing up at the ceiling. 

 

Fluorescent lights behind large plastic panels among acoustic tiles in a drop ceiling give everyone and everything here a sickly pale sheen. The lights give off an audible hum that nobody notices. This hum paired with the drone of the ventilation system creates a dull white noise that forms the background to a workday filled with beeps, chirps, squeals, whines, murmurs and buzzes. Computers, phones, printers, copiers and elevator bells. Muffled conversations among the workers blend together. Inane chit chat and jibber jabber.  Some say ten percent of the workday is spent on personal matters. But I think ten percent or less of the workday is actually work, the rest is personal shit. I’m not sure what these people do for 8 hours. 

 

A large round table dominates the room with mismatched chairs scattered around. All of them cast off from the conference room or various offices. When an attorney gets a new chair their old one is adopted by a secretary or paralegal. And the hand-me-down trickle down continues on. A chair that nobody wants ends up here in the break room. There is a sizable magazine collection, heavily weighted to women’s fashion, home decor and Hollywood gossip, with a few outliers being golf and fly fishing. 

 

Taped to the microwave is a sign that reads COVER FOODS COOKING MICROWAVE  This sign bothers me, as I continually read it, rearranging the words in my mind. I imagine the author’s voice and motivation. Was it carelessness, or their sense of humor? Their choice of fonts was all wrong and the way they chose to tape across the corners instead of creating neat tape loops on the back of the sign. Rumpled and splattered with various liquids, this sign should be replaced. But it’s been there for years and I’m just visiting. 

 

The refrigerator is the unofficial bulletin board for the office and features flyers about a blood drive, a lunchtime concert series from last summer and a memo about the company holiday party. I haven’t ever opened the fridge and do not plan on it. By the time left over food is that left over, I’m not interested. 

 

The floor is covered in industrial strength linoleum squares, as boring as a government job. The hallway just outside features brown low-profile carpet, crushed down, years past its prime, traffic patterns clearly visible, threadbare in spots. I imagine the worn out carpet being mentioned at a staff meeting and the office manager laughing and changing the subject. Then one day I overheard her telling the receptionist that they’d already signed a lease on office space in a South Lake Union spot. So the lame ass ugly old carpet is the least of her worries. 


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I'll gladly pay you Tuesday, for a fig bar today

May 24, 2025

 

It’s their scenic 700 acre campus, I just roll through it. This crow duo’s territory includes the Life Sciences Building and they know me and my habitrails and that my habits include coffee and fig bars in the morning, and that I’ll gladly hand over a bite or two of my snacks when I have some.  However, just one stop earlier at Chemical Engineering, I tossed out the last of my snacks to another crow.  

 

The aggressive one in this pair perched on the rear fender and took a few whacks at it to get my attention, creating a metallic racket.  As I explained my food situation to her, she then hopped up to the saddle and began to really dig in with her beak, like a deranged woodpecker. Then I said I’d gladly pay them Tuesday because I had no more fig bars today and I rolled on. 

 


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and then?

May 22, 2025

absolute absolutes

May 20, 2025

 

“nice to meet you Kevin”

 

“it’s Kelvin—”

 

“oh sorry Calvin”

 

“no,  Kelvin




As the attention span 

of the average American 

approaches absolute zero

we’re lowering 

our expectations

how low can you go?

−273.15 °C 

−459.67 °F

theoretically possible

practically unachievable

but don’t doubt

the average American

look see

finger pointing

strong correlation

the ubiquity of the

smart phone

and how we

dumb it down

post hoc ergo propter hoc

see fallacy see

beyond comparison

absolute adjectives are

the satisfying clunk-click 

of an old school 

toggle switch

IT IS

or 

IT ISN’T

there is no slightly

no sorta kinda

no very very

no almost

all or none

with it

or 

on it

take it 

or 

leave it

 


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EXCEPT BICYCLES BITCHE$

May 16, 2025

my other exit strategy is a bicycle

 

my other five-year plan is a bicycle

 

my other 5-story condo is a bicycle

 

my other other bike is a bicycle

 

my other hangover remedy is a bicycle

 

my other bumper sticker is a bicycle

 

my other failure to phrase it in the form of a question is a bicycle

 

my other Datsun B-210 is a bicycle

 

my other blood alcohol level is a bicycle

 

my other ancient Chinese secret is a bicycle

 

my other simple chronic halitosis is a bicycle

 

my other you’re soaking in it is a bicycle

 

my other full on Kevin’s mom is a bicycle

 

my other phantom nostalgia syndrome is a bicycle

 

my other bookmark is a bicycle

 

my other ass-pocket U-lock is a bicycle

 

my other next trip to Rip City is a bicycle

 

my other buy 10 get 1 free is a bicycle

 

my other lack of 401k is a bicycle

 

my other filling in the negative space is a bicycle

 

my other spirit animal is a bicycle

 

my other autism quotient is a bicycle

 

my other liberal arts degree is a bicycle

 

my other non recollection of the events in question is a bicycle

 

my other extended invitation is a bicycle

 

my other is that the best you can do is a bicycle

 

my other fake QR code is a bicycle

 

my other ongoing seismic retrofit is a bicycle

 

my other raised garden bed is a bicycle

 

my other I’m Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass is a bicycle

 

my other misdirected energy barking up every wrong tree is a bicycle

 

my other gut feeling is a bicycle

 

my other copyright infringement is a bicycle

 

my other cease and desist is a bicycle

 

my other Perkins Coie attorney is a bicycle

 

my other expired notary stamp is a bicycle

 

my other feedback loop is a bicycle

 

my other Wheatstone Bridge is a bicycle

 

my other unlimited season pass is a bicycle

 

my other when I was your age is a bicycle

 

my other realtree camo fleece-lined hoodie is a bicycle

 

my other neatly trimmed zip tie is a bicycle

 

my other this is what six feet looks like is a bicycle

 

my other hypotenuse is a bicycle

 

my other thing proven to cause cancer in the State of California is a bicycle

 

my other idle chit chat is a bicycle

 

my other air guitar, viola and or cello is a bicycle

 

my other cathecting notion is a bicycle

 

my other other redundantly redundant redundancy is a bicycle

 

my other Tufts Jumbo is a bicycle

 

my other app for that is a bicycle

 

my other like a fish needs a bicycle is a bicycle

 

my other microwave safe mug is a bicycle

 

my other another pint of IPA is a bicycle

 

my other working for the weekend is a bicycle

 

my other are you fucking kidding me is a bicycle

 

my other spicy bloody mary is a bicycle

 

my other breakfast burrito is a bicycle

 

my other lowercase g tattoo is a bicycle

 

my other parking pass is a bicycle

 

my other one-of-a-kind one-at-a-time is a bicycle 


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for what you wish careful be

May 16, 2025

it seemed

like a good idea

at the time

 

retrospectively



be careful

what you

wish for

 

you’re asking for it



there

they’re

their

 

there they're on their RadPower bikes



sincerely

for real

really

 

authentic authenticity



agitation gets the dirt out

punctuation gets the word out

legislation gets the herd out

 

repetition gets…    boring


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orange squinting modifiers

May 14, 2025

squinting modifiers

nestled in

hanging out

either way

sans punctuation

open to interpretation

open to outcome

as if    and or

attached to outcome

making an ass

outta you & me

parents enlist children

to set up

parental controls

limiting screen time

while kids smile

gladly doing

whatever it takes

so mom & dad

feel like 

they’re the ones 

telling the kids

how it is

 


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Oh wait...

May 13, 2025

May 12, 1997

May 12, 2025

similar scenario

May 11, 2025

2 7 5 4 8

25.4 in a 31.8

butt of square taper jokes

pushing round pedal strokes

smooth spandex shimmer

parallel pacelines

whooshing whirring

approaching

from the rear

it’s all in here

shifting gears

internally

dig deeper

downtube reach

to access calories in beer

drink it

I know what

you did last summer

similar scenario

substitute lingo

dissimilar metals

form a bond over time

seize

the day

grease

is the word in the

absence of anything

important

petty details

become significant

 


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something borrowed, nothing blue

May 11, 2025

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

orange

orange

orange


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Extra Chunky

May 10, 2025

I wasn’t in the market for grips, but I guess these grips were looking for me. If the first stage is denial then the next first stage is reaching out to Steve Maluk because these silicone grips will always and forever and forever and always remind me of Steve. He talked them up and stocked them up in the shop at Bike Works when we both worked under that 501(c)(3) ten years ago or so. 

 

I actually had a pair of these grips on the Allez once upon a time. In a tasteful understated gray grey way. But they were sliced off when I ditched the thumb shifters. 

 

But anyway as I was aimlessly loitering in Recycled Cycles in a former bike messenger now government worker asking Andy Voight if he’s my Bucky kind of way this past take-your-baby-yoda-to-work-day afternoon around 2:22 when I saw these grips and I picked them up only to take that photo for Steve in a thinking-of-you Hallmark Card kind of way. As I was ham-fisting a thumby text message to express those thoughts, in-walked Steve G and the entire Bike Works posse on their Seattle bike shop bike ride tour du jour. It was a big ball of Bike Works energy bouncing on Boat Street for one brief shining silicone moment. 

 

I’m not making this shit up. 

 

Then I bought those grips and put them on this bike. 

There are only 5 points of contact on a bike: hand-hand foot-foot & ass. So why not float those points on something that brings you joy. ESI 100% Silicone grips made in the USA. Platform pedals and a WTB saddle. 

 

 

I like to think that it’s possible to send out telepathic messages to people through the earth, through time and space. And I’ll go with that thought and sometimes I feel like backing it up with a photo and or a text. 

 

Like when I see a #56 Lawrence Taylor jersey and think of Koshalla 

 

Or all those produce PLU # rubber bands that say Catarina

 

And “Pour Some Sugar on Me” will always say Sara G

 

Or in my inner ear, I’m hearing “you can do it” from 02 Joey in his Corky voice

 

Or 33 John saying “just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…” repeating repeatedly

 

Or a vivid dream featuring my old pets Brad or Skunk or Jody or Buppy or Wendy,  just checking in, saying HEY. Across time and space and modes of existence, speaking from the hereafter. 

 

Those telepathic messages are flying around all the time. But most of us are oblivious to them. However, some of us can tune into them sporadically, and when we do, it’s amazing. Like a crystal clear blast from the past in the middle of the AM dial that comes in for a while just outside Ellensburg and then it fades to static once again. 

 

If anyone could tune in to those types of messages it was Aldous Huxley. But that’s another story. 

 


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think big BIG TIME big

May 9, 2025

added up to ZERO

May 8, 2025

two  seven  five  four  eight

she watched    she said

all added up to zero

and nothing in her head

 

I don’t think I can handle

she goes channel to channel

cold lookin for that hero

she watch channel zero***

 

repeatedly

repeating

repeat

neo retro

palindromic

Public Enemy

bilateral symmetry

snot rocket surgery

early on

take your baby yoda 

to work day    when

a Toothaker text

flipped it to 

Laverne & Shirley

on Channel Zero

run the numbers

 

one two three four
five six seven eight

Schlemiel! Schlimazel!
Hasenpfeffer incorporated!**



 

 

 

 

 

 


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DOUBLE DARN double down

May 6, 2025

These 5 Double Darns are still in heavy rotation. The black cotton at the top is the newest member of the family. Just breaking in this week as the morning temperatures are in the 40s but the afternoons get into the 70s.  The winter weight wool has been the go-to for the past several months under a bucket helmet. But the helmets are getting lighter and the caps are getting cottonier as the days are getting longer.  

 

I’ve had several other Double Darns that I wore until they fell apart. Then I patched them up and wore them some more. 

 

I’m wearing one as we speak...

 

monday

tuesday

wednesday

thursday

friday

 

 Hunt_black_1.jpg

Misia makes a fine cap down in Rip City.

Check it 

Double Darn Caps


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fifty-six

May 4, 2025

When the Giants top draft pick Abdul Carter asked Lawrence Taylor if he could wear #56 and bring it out of retirement, Taylor said   “No”      

 

That made me smile. It also made me think of Koshalla. 

There are 56’s all around you. But maybe you haven’t noticed because they’re lurking in the scenery. Around 3:33 this past Thursday I stumbled upon a 56 lingering on the bar leftover from the lunch rush. It spoke to me and then we had a beer together.

 


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when I was your age, coffee was 50¢

May 3, 2025

 

Welcome to pilder’s coffee shop where you can order whatever you want but when all is said and done, you’ll be presented with a 12 ounce drip coffee, black. 

 

take it

or 

leave it

 

It’s your choice

 

It’s a Hobson’s Choice

 


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ONEWAY or another

May 1, 2025

 

 

is it raining?

 


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reading list

April 30, 2025

Only 49 pages into this book but it’s a five star thirty three thumbs up, reinforcing my appreciation for what goes on in the brain of a writer non stop all the time any time whatever time and what time is it? What appears on the surface may or may not be giving any indication of that brain activity. This book has evoked memories of The Coin

Ask me about the difference between a hyphen and a dash. This free library score brings me joy flipping to any random page and pondering the ridiculous inconsistencies in the English language. 

 

Right Brain-Left Brain. anxiety spirals vs creativity spirals. Good stuff. For real. Really. On so many levels. So much…

Free library score. Can’t say I’ve read it. Because I have not. But I will. Some day. I think. 

 

Another free library score. I was a 509 kid and as those in the know know, that’s east of the mountains here in Washington. The other Washington. Haven’t read anything beyond the story line and the inside cover maps. But I’m looking forward to it and or back on it like a 1997 road trip…   

 

 


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the world was movin. she was right there with it

April 29, 2025

Talking Heads sheet music pasted to a scrap of  cardboard, toss in a couple crows feet and call it art, call it a postcard, call it an art card.

 

The fridge magnet poetry scraps were staged for the photo only (not included) They remain on my fridge.

 

nobody has one of these…   

 

…except 22 Heather. But she doesn’t even know it yet because it’s sitting in her mailbox

 

In 1985 this song was the reason I made the trek to the record store to buy the album on cassette.

 

Please take a moment to read David Byrne’s story behind the story. Tripping balls on the grass in the shadow of the Yoo-Hoo factory

 


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you are what you think about all day

April 28, 2025

Sunday morning easy like staring at the wall making an effort to not be informed on current events, to remain unaware of breaking news and to not let politicians be what I think about all day.

 

The other other day at work, Timmy Jimmy broke out a perfectly-timed and spot-on:

 

Big Fucking Shit

Right Now Man

 

And it made me smile and nod and ponder Double Nickels on the Dime and ask myself how long it’s been since I sat and listened to all 43 tracks in a row. It’s been a long time. Years and years. 

 

I gave track 5 a spin, but today could be the day I zone out to the whole thing at least once. 

"It's Expected I'm Gone"

Minutemen  

 

I don't want to hurt
See my position was here
I mean as it was I was
 
So this led to the downfall of man
I can make seconds feel hours
 
I make certain
That my head is connected to my body
 
No hope
See, that's what gives me guts
Big fucking shit
Right now, man

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what's what

April 26, 2025

two continua walk into a bar

 

bartender says

 

OK you two

what’s what

who’s who

 

with a left thumb & head nod over to the two colloquia conversing at the end of the bar

 

followed quickly by a right thumb & head tilt over to the two consortia cavorting by the window

 

colloquium

consortium

continuum

 

Is this a joke? plural? 

 

 




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